I am going to a lot of different places this year. I think it’s the year of travel for me. For the Chinese, it’s the year of the rat. I was in the Valley on Friday night (last night) and watched the dragon dancing around the tables at one of the Chinese restaurants, and listened to the banging of the gong. I also became mesmerised by the fish in the fish pond fountain in the Chinatown mall. I’m not sure if it’s usually there, but last night there was mist coming out from the top part of the fountain where the uplights are. Also, the water in the bottom part of the fountain, where the fish swim around, looked a bit more cloudy than usual, and there were more coins in there too. I felt sorry for the fish.

Anyway, here is the first of my travels:

Not actually the whole of Western Australia, just Perth. The trip over involves a red-eye flight several hours long. I feel like this should mean that people on the Western Coast would be different that the people of the East Coast of Australia, but I guess that we all started out from similar beginnings, and our beginnings weren’t that long ago.

Tim and I are traveling to San Francisco in May this year. It’s exciting because I’ve never been to America before, and this will be my first experience of traveling with Tim. I think we’ll be fine. Tim got the tickets using his frequent flyer miles, which is awesome, because he could have used his miles to get ONE business class return to San Francisco, but instead he got TWO economy return to San Francisco. We’re also going to Canada:

One leg of the trip will be by train, and one will be by plane. Apparently the train trip from San Francisco up to Vancouver is beautiful. I’m looking forward to it. I think we will get a sleeper cabin. Tim was also saying we could spend a couple of days in Seattle, which’ll be good, too. I checked online at the average temperatures for that time of year. The maximum is 17.5 degrees Celsius, which suits me so perfectly you can’t even imagine. I wouldn’t mind it being even cooler than that. Check out the picture of Canada – there are polar bears on there! I swear that means they exist there in real life. I love them. And the elk (if that’s what they are). Yay! It’s going to be amazing.

And finally, toward the end of the year, Noelle and I are traveling to Europe and the UK. I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am about revisiting Europe, especially when you consider all the people over there I will get to meet up with: Anna, Ben, Simone&Dave, Ruth… I am so psyched! We’re planning on spending time in London (& surrounds), Amsterdam (yay Anna!), Paris (I forgot to remind Noelle about this one :S), Denmark (yay legoland! and the little mermaid!), somewhere in Ireland (maybe Galway?)… and wherever else we have time to go. I’d love to visit Prague, but time constraints may make that difficult. Also the financial aspect… 

That’s it on the travel front. In other news, I have started my new job (the end of this week marked two weeks there). I’m exhausted, but appreciate the plus side. I guess you could say the end justifies the means. I got a new pair of boots today at DFO without worrying that they would break the bank. The fact that they were only $20 should illustrate my point. It felt so good to have my own money. I won’t be able to be this laissez-faire about my pay every week, but for this week it’s pretty nice. I’m going to start my hardcore savings as of next Thursday. Tim has been extremely helpful with this, and I’m glad that my working has been able to take some stress off him as well. I’m infinitely grateful to him for looking after me this entire time. Although it may seem strange, I feel like there is a good side to this entire experience, and that is to be able to know, without doubt or hesitation, that Tim’s love comes without condition. This is an amazing gift. Tim and Matt are currently playing Guitar Hero III, and bemoaning the insensitivity of the red button on our guitar. We had a nice dinner, a yummy dessert, and there is a Po here for entertainment. Life is pretty good.

What? It’s not summer yet? How come I have to put up with this unbearable heat then?

What? You say it’s not unbearably hot? Yes, it is. GOSH.

It’s too early for me to think of decent things to post, but the “Press it! I stole the internets!” button keeps looking at me whenever I go into my Bookmarks, and so it has become a duty that I can’t ignore. Don’t get me wrong – I love posting blogs as much as the next person writing overly long and pointless blog posts, but not having the internet for a week made me apprehensive about the amount of posts I would have to do to catch up.

Stuff it, I’m extremely effusive, and who cares what I say on here anyway? Well, I guess Suncorp used to care, but not so much any more because I’m no longer associated with them. If I had a bad experience in one of their branches or with their internet banking or phone banking or whatever, I’m more than entitled to post the facts here. It’s free speech. So get lost, censors.

Yesterday was Noelle’s birthday. We had drinks and tapas at Jorge on George, and then made our way down to Parliament House. We had been planning on hanging out in the bar at Parliament House, but it turned out that pretty much everyone had left by the time we got there, the teetotallers. We visited Helen’s mum in her Office, and she shared a really nice Queensland red from the Granite Belt with us. I had to leave in the middle of our quite interesting conversation to go home (Tim, who wins the Best Boyfriend Award, picked me up out the front of Parliament House to make sure I got home safely). I had a really good time with Noelle, Brea, Helen & Renaye.

The new house r0×0rs, btw. As does our new lounge. Check it out (These photos are from a few days ago, when we had first moved in, so our new lounge isn’t in them, and all the boxes and stuff are still everywhere. Plus it’s still messy. I’ll take some new photos today of our nice, clean, tidy new house, and our awesome new lounge):

For sooth! The precipitation hath foiled our intent for an excursion of merriment and mirth in the parklands of Roma Street! That’s okay, because we’ll just to go Russell & Glynis’ house for lunch.

Tonight I’m going to cook things for us to have at Krity’s birthday lunch tomorrow. I’ll need to go grocery shopping some time today. And also, I will be speaking to Tim tonight (yay!) so I want to make sure I am home for that. I have been far lazier this weekend than I intended, but I’ve done some laundry, changed the bed linen, and tidied things up a bit. Last week I remembered to buy more coathangers, so I was finally able to put all of my clothes away. I’m so domesticated! I wish I had more things to iron – that’s my favourite of all household chores.

We might have gone to the movies this weekend, but I had my movie fix from watcing fullmetal jacket (which I hadn’t seen before). It was good.

I don’t like the second scar on my wrist (on the underneath side). The first one, on top, healed up so well. But the other one still looks stupid. I suppose because the skin is paler there it’s going to be more obvious, but also, scars formed from where the stitches were, so the whole thing looks like a big row of divide-by signs (not the forward slash ones, the ones which are a little horizontal line with a dot on either side). But I guess that’s what you get for being a daredevil! NB. for those joining the story now – I did not slash my wrists. GOSH. What do you think I am? Some kind of depressed, suicidal person? I’m so not even going there right now.

Here are some video games:

Chip’s Challenge. I first played this on a computer that we got second-hand from the Catholic Education Committee (my mum was the representative for our region). This is a puzzle game. You are chip, a little blonde person in blue overalls, and you have to figure out the puzzle in order to get all the chips and step into a vortex which takes you to the next level. I ruined it for myself by looking up the passwords to the levels on the internet (when the internet became available in Wooloweyah).

Dangerous Dave. This was another game from back in the days of Windows for Workgroups (3.1 or something). Not run through Windows, but through a separate start-up screen from which you could access other functions and applications. Basically (for anyone who doesn’t remember or has never played the game) you are Dave. You collect various jewels and pretty things, and you have to get a golden cup in order to go through the door and finish the level. There are bonus levels as well, with lots of jewels to collect if you can find the portal to them. Pretty exciting stuff.

Time to go get ready for Mother’s Day luncheon. More on this later! (maybe!)

I have gone on a blog posting spree. I don’t feel well tonight, I have a killer headache and feel nauseous, plus my shoulders and neck are really tense. Boo fricken hoo, right?

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day. We’re going on a picnic with Nathan’s family (minus Simone, of course, as she lives in Reading). Hi Napoleon! He just came in through my window. I bet he sits on my computer chair and goes to sleep in a circle shape.

Tim gets back next Saturday morning at 6:30. Mum is driving me out to the airport so that we can pick him up. I’m going to give him the biggest hug in the history of the world. He’ll be going to Glendalough either today or tomorrow, which is cool because Lauren, Noelle and I went there when we were in Ireland last year. It was freezing! I didn’t wear socks with my boots, because I’m an idiot, and my toes froze, and then the rest of me froze. We visited the monastic settlement, and had lunch by the big lake. I wrote my name in the frost on one of the picnic tables. Ireland is beautiful, one of my favourite places in the world.

I really don’t have that much to write about. The temperature is lovely tonight. J’adore quand il fait froid. I wish that it got cold enough to snow here. Even with the disgusting grey snow and slush that forms on the pathways, and the patches of slippery, refrozen ice, it’s still worth it. There’s still an almost magical quality to snow, for me. I’m sure that those who deal with snow all the time probably get tired of it, but in my mind it’s always pure and soft and cold and white and clean and makes the best sounds when you walk on it. A very satisfying “crnnnch” as the ice compacts beneath the soles of your shoes. And I still haven’t built a snowman! Very disappointing. Or had a real snowball fight for that matter.

Anyway, rather than stay up and have to take a panadol, I’m going to sleep.

Bon nuit!

I’ve been reading up on the “Boiling Frog” analogy. I first came across this in high school, when the book “The Gathering” by Isobelle Carmody was part of the year 9 curriculum. I can’t remember what they’re trying to explain with the analogy. Recently I remembered it in an odd, slightly nostalgic moment, and decided to do some research because I thought there could be an interesting story behind it, and a possible debunking. So, I have found that it is a very common analogy, only recently debunked by experiments, but the argument goes that these most recent experiments heat the water at a much faster rate than that of the original experiments.

But anyway, it made me wonder at the common usage of this analogy. You could end up disproving your own point by using it. Am I making any sense whatsoever? My brain isn’t calibrated for this kind of information downloading. Well, not at the moment anyway. Come back in a couple of days and I might be more coherent. I guess what I mean is that if you use an analogy based on a scientific theory, and that is later contested or disproven, then wouldn’t the gravity of your original point be undermined somewhat? Instead of meaning “Be careful of complacency, small changes over a long period of time can have more disastrous effects than you might initially be able to comprehend”, it might become, “I don’t do my own research, can you tell?”. I still haven’t really conveyed what I had in mind. Chk chk chk.

Zomg did anyone else see the multitudes of people on platform 5 & 6 at Central Station this afternoon? Looks like Queensland Rail are improving their service! They had announcements going over the loudspeaker saying “Due to overcrowding please remain on the concourse”. This would mean nothing to me if I were one of those people being overcrowding. I’d be all, “Concourse? what concourse? do we use that word here?” I wonder what was going on. I’m surprised people didn’t look more fed up than they did. And then the 5:36 Elimbah express arrived early, at 5:26, and then they updated the time of departure to 5:28. So what about all those people who live at Elimbah (God forbid – where even is that?) which must be a fair way out because it’s an express train, who were counting on the train leaving at 5:36 because it ties in with their start and finish times, are going to miss their train because it went eight minutes early! I’d be pretty ticked off if it happened to me, and I only get off at Wilston!

But speaking of afternoon trains, how did nighttime start at 5pm all of a sudden? It’s not nice walking home in the dark! I’ll be glad when it’s colder and I get to feel cold and wear warm clothes. It was so humid today.

I want to know everything there is to know in the world. Actually, it’s mainly just the useless things I want to know. I really wanted to learn Latin so when Noelle and I sing Sub Tuum on a drunken walk from the Valley to the City, I actually know what I’m saying. This is why I ask so many questions. It’s not just a generation-y thing. Why why why? I want to know why about everything. I find almost everything fascinating. But I know I have to curb this habit of asking questions, some people don’t like it. It can be considered impolite to question people, especially those older than you. When I’m old too it will no longer matter. I’ll be able to ask as many questions as I like.

I’ve been watching Dilbert lately. The funniest episode so far was the very last one where Dilbert has been impregnated by a cow/alien/robot/hillbilly, and throughout the pregnancy he took on all these feminine traits. He was mouthing off about something or other with Asok and Wally and Loud Howard, and when they offered solutions he said “Why are you doing this? I don’t want solutions!” which is so true. Men always offer solutions to women when women complain about things, but what women really want is just sympathy. That’s difficult for men, they like to solve things. They think that a woman telling him her problem is an invitation to offer a solution to it. Women then get frustrated because they just want the man to listen and make alternately sympathetic and reassuring noises.

My opinoin on this entire issue from a female perspective is this: Your female friends are the best ones to tell your problems to. They can empathise and will give you the response you want/need (most of the time). Of course you are free to share your issues with the man in your life, but it’s not fair to get mad at him for trying to fix the problem.
And to guys… well… you can offer us solutions, but we’re not always going to appreciate them.

I agree with many aspects of the suffragette movement, and I’m grateful for what they achieved through their hard work and suffering, but I also think that there is a point at which it becomes too political when it should be scientific. For one thing, the whole “I can do anything you can do” is not necessarily true. The differences in brain structure between men and women are what causes men to be, generally, better at solving spatial problems – men can focus extremely well on one task, which leads to the conclusion that men can only do one thing at a time. That might be true, but most of the time they do it well. Due to having more connections between the left and right sides of the brain than men do, women are able to multi-task and empathise – it becomes harder to separate the emotional from the physical, which is why women will often say “I feel…” when referring to situations, whereas men will concentrate on the facts (as they see them). These extra connections between right & left cerebral hemispheres are also responsible for the difficulty that women have in reading maps, or from telling their left from right. (I have extreme difficulty telling left from right. When asked directions, I can point in the direction I need to go, but can’t tell you whether that direction is left or right.)

I guess that this should be evidence enough that I am fascinated also by the physical/mental/emotional differences between males and females. In humans, anyway. It would be interesting to study gender roles in other species and compare them. I want to go to Uni!

I’m in love with Dashboard, Modest Mouse’s new song. I forgot how much I liked their music, because I listened to it too much when I first got into it and then I got bored. BORING! It sucks that their new album isn’t out yet. I want Red Riders album “Replica Replica” as well.

It’s so hot. I have vague memories of different ways I’ve coped with the heat over the years. It’s really only been an issue since I’ve moved to Brisbane, because Yamba doesn’t get this hot since it’s coastal, and if it does, then there’s the coast right there and you can just go for a swim.

I remember living at the beach during summer holidays. Sometimes we’d go to the Tea Tree Creek (true name: Mara Creek), just off the track to Back Beach. The water there was the colour of cola, and it was really good for your skin and hair. I used to be afraid that there were dead bodies hiding under the surface because you couldn’t see the bottom of the creek since the water was so dark. Sometimes a ghostly white tree branch would lodge itself on the opposite bank, looking exactly like some cadaver’s arm or leg protuding from the water. Eeek!

Other times, we’d sit at home with the fans on high, soak tea towels in water and then freeze them, and lay with the frozen tea towels on our foreheads. When we went to school, mum would put a frozen washer in a plastic bag in our cooler bags so that we could cool off after running around at lunch time. They were good on the bus home from Grafton when we were in high school, because most of the time the bus didn’t have airconditioning and we were packed in like sardines.

Sometimes, driving home along the road from Grafton to Maclean, after the Shark Creek Deviation, you could see dolphins swimming up the river that ran beside the road.

So anyway, speaking of places which should have had air conditioning and didn’t, I’d like to express my severe and total disappointment in work right now. Is that too specific? Have I said too much? Are the googlers going to come and get me now?

This Grates album is awesome. And I’m not just saying that to be super-supportive because we are friends with them. It really is a good album. So I don’t want anyone thinking that I like their music just because we’re friends, I like their music on its own merits. Because it’s good. I was so excited that they played 19 20 20 at 299 last night! That was so much fun.

Songs that were good to dance to:

* 192020 – The Grates (Grrr grr!)
* Blister in the sun – Violent Femmes

I have a hazy memory of last night. I just remembered that they often played lots of emo music that wasn’t that good to dance to. And the songs kind of merged together because they all sounded the same.

Stupid emo music. When we got home, rage was on and Dresden Dolls were the guest progammers, so there was even more emo music (Panic! At the disco was a dubious highlight.. as was The Used… Listen kids, can you hear that? It’s the worlds tiniest violin playing the worlds saddest song just for you!)

I wanna go back there! It was so much fun! Me & Noelle may go there this Saturday because I’m having a sleepover at her place since mum’s having a party that night and I already decided I’d rather not be here for it. So I’ll stay over at Noe’s place. Then the next week after that, I have like.. six days off in a row woot! I’ll be in Townsville then. I really want to go out to Broadwater, but I don’t think there is any way of getting out there. Noelle will know more about it. It seems a shame not to go out there when I’ve already gone all the way to Townsville and it’s like three days drive. Or an hour & a half by plane. It will be Rosie’s very first plane trip. I wonder if she’ll be scared? I can’t remember being scared the very first time I went on an aeroplane. Lauren and I were going by ourselves, and we had to wear tags that said “unaccompanied minor” or UM for short. Dad wanted to write “D” in front of the UM. lol nice. But yeah, it was all a bit of a novelty, and not frightening really. But the first time i went on a plane in about four years was this year, and I was sort of apprehensive about it. I’m not sure why. I kept opening and closing the blinds on the window until Lauren got irritated and told me to stop. Anyway. looks like it might rain today, which is always good. I hope it does.

It’s always dangerous when relatives come over and play with the fridge magnets.

House is nice when it’s clean.

The guy wearing a dress at the RSL. I took a sneaky photo of him and then ran from the club cackling maniacally.

I went to work for a couple of hours this morning. I ended up leaving early because the aircon never went on. Because, you know, if the aircon is on, you can sort of ignore the fact that what you’re breathing is stale and processed (like the rest of modern life!), and the fact that there are no windows, and maybe that prevents claustrophobia I guess. I wouldn’t know because I don’t have claustrophobia. But I sort of got an idea of what it might be like, because today I wasn’t really in the mood to be putting up with anything. So when the aircon didn’t go on, I got hot and bothered and felt like I was breathing in the air I had just breathed out, and it was so stuffy and hard to concentrate, and annoying. So I left.

The minute I got outside I felt a million times better. The air still had a quiet coolness to it, not entirely dissipated from night-time by the sun. There are more days like this in winter than in summer, and I guess that’s why I like winter better. It’s cool and quiet. And there are days when the quiet takes over everything, and even though the volume level of everything else hasn’t decreased, you somehow don’t notice the noise of the traffic and the city so much. I don’t know if anyone else even understands what I’m talking about. Well, some days are just calm and quiet. I like it best when the air is cool.

I went to Roma parklands and walked around for a couple of hours, through the garden and the rainforest, and it was quiet and cool there as well. I read under a tree for a while and then walked back into the city. I was a bit out of it today, and I walked out onto the road in front of a car, which woke me up a bit because it beeped and I looked over and there was a car a few centimetres away from me. I felt really bad about it, because usually I don’t like to cross unless the little man is green, and today I just didn’t think at all and stepped out onto the road. I could have been killed. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

Anyway, because I felt so guilty I thought “maybe I could go to the cop shop and tell them I just jaywalked and they can give me a ticket and I’ll feel better because I should get into trouble from someone other than myself for being so stupid.”. ButI didn’t, because it was just a stupid thought and was just me being dumb again in my own head. I have a lot of stupid thoughts.

I also thought to myself “If there’s a movie on when I get into the mall, I should go and see a movie. By myself.” Because i had only one cinema voucher left, and therefore if i went with someone else one of us would have to pay full price and that wouldn’t really be fair, and I’ve never been to the movies by myself before, and I always thought I could never go to the movies alone. I don’t know why. So I went to the movies, then caught the bus home. And when I got home, Ro was still being bitchy to me, and I cried, and it upsets me and there’s nothing I can do about it.

We have Penny’s jewellery party tomorrow. I just made a map on whereis, now all i need is a printer. I really should buy one. There’s no reason I should have a laminator and not a printer. That’s just odd.

Also, I want to buy a bike. There’s a bike shop up the street, but I’m not sure when I could go there. And that’s too much to ask for a birthday present. So I don’t know what to ask for. Maybe a helmet.

I should go to bed. I’m compiling a list of things that are worrying:

1. I’m tired all the time.
2. I’m sad all the time.
3. I have no patience for anything
4. all the muscles in my arms ache
5. I can’t cope with things very well
7. I’m not interested in anything
8. I’m bored every single minute of the day
9. I have a sore throat
10. I have no energy (that’s not the same thing as being tired)
11. I can’t sleep
12. When I’m not sad I’m disproportionately happy
13. I have no motivation for anything.

Well. It’s getting there.

Lauren found out last week that she has Lupus. I really should stop complaining. There’s nothing wrong with me. Or if there is, it’s just 21st century disease which is just something made-up by people who are too weak to cope with modern day life. I think I would have done well back in the 1300s when the plague was around. Now that was fascinating. I have to italicise that because I find it interesting, which is a pretty big thing for me at the moment. But yeah, I would have liked to do things from scratch… I like knowing the origin of things, working through from the very start and seeing how things begin. Everything’s too complicated now to be able to do that. To know the origin of.. a computer… you’d have to look at all the individual components. And.. ah well I just can’t really get my head around it right now. Or … a car. that’s pretty complicated too. At least with a horse and cart it’s a pretty simple premise. I suppose that makes me simple.

Lupus:  A systemic disease that results from an autoimmune mechanism. Individuals with lupus will produce antibodies to their own body tissues. The resultant inflammation can cause kidney damage, arthritis, pericarditis and vasculitis.

So that’s why Lauren hates sternums, because her sternum always hurts because the connective tissue has been inflamed from her own antibodies attacking it. Nathan hates eyes because when he was in school there was a boy who used to tap his eye with a pencil, and it made him feel like vomiting. So did that episode of the simpsons where Homer gets laser eye surgery with a coupon, and then because he doesn’t buy the eye drops for afterwards his eyes crust over. So Nathan is really happy that the optomotrist said that he can never wear contact lenses because of litte bumps on the inside of his eyelids that are caused by allergies or asthma or something, so he’s got buddy holly glasses that are cool.

Alright. I’m going to go to sleep.

It’s true what Wolf Parade said… “look at the clouds, it’s a show all on it’s own”. Because this morning when I woke up, the sky was completely clear. Then, this afternoon on the bus home, there were the most beautiful clouds scattered everywhere, clouds you’d expect to see in a rennaissance painting. White, with brilliant contrast and detail, just perfect clouds against the bluest sky. Then later on this afternoon, they turned grey and flat and swept across the sky, and maybe it rained too but I don’t know because I wasn’t really paying attention.

Anyway, night.

Today is a memory day.

* I remember having blond hair and brown skin and going to the beach every single day

* I remember going for a drive with dad out to the Point during a hurricane. I was afraid. Dad told me about how when he was younger and lived in Sydney, he’d go down to circular quay when big storms came in and ride the ferry just before they cancelled it due to bad weather, because it was fun being on the ferry in the huge waves and pouring rain. I remember thinking that our car was going to be blown off the road, and not being able to see two feet ahead of us, and everything was grey. We went home.

* I remember church on Christmas Eve being so crowded that people lined up outside, and all the kids were outside running around in the yard and everyone was friends with everyone else, and it didn’t matter if we all ran off to the park, it was still counted as being there because we showed up and couldn’t get in, and all the parents stood around outside talking about parent type things.

* I remember when the circus was in town, standing out on our balcony late at night and seeing a drunk guy passed out in the church yard across the street from our place, and hearing the circus music in the background.

* I remember going to the library almost every day after tafe (NERD!), or going to the library in town every second weekend and sitting on the beanbags in the kids section and reading the new kids books, until I turned 11 and started reading from the adult section (and got told off by the librarian – “you can’t read that! Your section is over there —>”)

* I remember going to a party with Chris, and Noelle came too because she was staying with us for the holidays, and we left and met some random guy called Dan, which reminded Noelle and I of an ad for prune juice (Dan Presser, managing director of sunraysia natural beverages, is talking to his mum ruby about a new drink he’s created…) and then we walked down the main street of town and a girl was walking along with a guy, and he was drunk. He pushed Chris into the wall and said “Watch where you’re f**king going!” and the girl who was with him said “Go. Just run.” And we did.

* I remember using the metre-rulers from the blackboard as skis in year six, just before we went on our holiday to the snow, and being strongly reprimanded by the teacher for it (”these aren’t skis! they’re school equipment!”)

* I remember a boy from my class going missing at sea during a storm just after we had started high school. His own father found his body two weeks later at the docks. We had a memorial for him at the church behind our old primary school, and they arranged for all those who had known him to take the afternoon off school and provided a bus from high school to the primary school. It was a sad start to the year.

* I remember going up to the sports field of our village one night, and seeing glowing lines on the ground. One of the parents told us that the glowing stuff was left behind by slugs. I never actually saw any of the slugs.

* I remember going into the bushland surrounding the sports field, and finding paths cut through the scrub that you couldn’t see from the outside. They led to secret hideouts and clearings, and places where other kids had dragged sheets of corrugated iron or cardboard and made shelters and stored things there.

* I remember Noelle, Anna & Clare coming down for Christmas holidays and playing Super Mario Bros 3 and Spy Vs Spy on their Super Nintendo when they stayed out at the farm.

* I remember a Christmas when all the cousins came down to visit, and we put on a show for the parents, and we had tents in our backyard because there were so many people staying.

* I remember taking a kayak out on the lake and discovering what was on the further edges. There were islands and a huge black skeletal tree.

* I remember feeling content.

Sun was shining again today. It was pleasantly cool in the morning, but by the afternoon it was humid again. The forecast said it will rain tomorrow, Wednesday, Thursday… they apparently can’t predict as far as Friday, but never mind because they’ll get it wrong anyway. I live my life for rainy days.

I cooked dinner tonight (a rare occurrence!). We’re supposed to take it in turns cooking meals throughout the week, but lately it’s just been each person for themselves. Or else two people will make something for two people, and whoever else is there misses out. But tonight I made a proper meal. I went out to the grocery store at lunch time, and I chose ingredients, and even though I worked overtime, and Noelle and I got home later than expected due to missing the bus due to us holding cups of tea and the bus driver closing the door and driving off, I still managed to get everything together in reasonable time. Good. And it was nice!

I dyed my hair on Saturday, and I wasn’t sure what the reaction would be at work since the parts that aren’t black are really bright. First of all, Spike said, “Oh you dyed your hair red”. I said it wasn’t red. Kirra said, “You dyed your hair mulberry.” Boss said “You dyed your hair purple.” It’s not any of those. The colour was actually raspberry, though obviously lots of people see colours differently. Like Lauren will often say something is blue when it’s so obviously green. When we were at a Chinese Restaurant in London, there was a Chinese embroidered shirt hanging on the wall and it was like the colour of grass but darker, and I said it was pretty, and Lauren said, “oh that blue one over there?” So I didn’t know which one she was talking about, and I thought she was looking at something different to what I was. Anyway, that was dumb because it was green. So green.

Work tomorrow. I am going to go to bed at a reasonable hour tonight (I always say that!). What is a reasonable hour though? Who decides that? I don’t know why, but that reminds me, of when we were on our tour and people kept saying to me “Don’t play with your food.” and I would say, “why? Why not play with my food? You tell me why and I won’t.” But no one ever knew why. Why? And, “Didn’t your mum ever tell you not to play with your food?” yes, but why? I think I made a smiley face on my plate in Paris. It’s just that when there’s potato on there, and other things I can’t eat, there’s nothing to do while everyone else is eating theirs. And they’re just going to throw it out anyway. People just make up rules and then follow them for the sake of it.

So. I’m going to read some more of my book and then go to sleep. Sleeeeep. It’s so nice now that I have real pillows! Oooh I just remembered that we get a holiday in May! And all the family is going to be there! In Townsville! And lucky it’s May, because then it won’t be too hot. And we’ll get to see all the cousins and the aunts and uncles and everyone! And I get time off work! So good. And then I’m not allowed to take any more holidays until the end of the year. Please remind me blog. Don’t let me be tempted by all the possible long weekends stretched out before me on the calendar. I can make it through!

I’ve still got two special needs leave days anyway. Oh and I have to organise that day that I went home halfway through! I forgot all about that. Team Leader hasn’t said anything to me about it, but maybe she will in our next one-on-one. I just have to organise it. Every time they know I’m talking to dad, or about him, they say to me, “Don’t stress, don’t worry about it, it’s not your responsibility.” Even if I don’t look or sound or act stressed at all. It’s not my responsibility!

I’m so irresponsible.

And I am working again this weekend. I wonder if anyone’s going out Friday night. That could be fun. I hope they are. But I’m not sure if there’s an occasion for it… Penny’s engagement party is coming up soon too, but that’s after my birthday. The weekend after my birthday. So my birthday is coming up soon that means. Mum’s is first though. What am I gonna get her? Nooooo idea!!! At least I won’t be completely broke. The overtime should go some way further to paying off my credit card (I’m halfway there! Yippee!) And then I’ll get overtime pay again the next week. That will be good. But then there’s no more on offer after this week, so that will be the end of it. Then it will be my birthday. What to do? I could make everyone go to the zoo again, I could make that my birthday thing, that was fun. And something everyone can enjoy, apart from people who don’t like animals, but they can go have a cry about it. Hahahaa or I could make everyone go to the Art Gallery, and Roshard would either cry, or never speak to me again, or both.

I looked on a job site on the weekend, and found a job the same as mine in London, and it was 20-30GBP/Hr. That’s so awesome! That’s more than what I earn in dollars! Crazy. You could work over there, earn a heap of money and live in some crappy little apartment or bedsit and just go on holidays all over the world! That would be so amazing. I wonder how different the work would be in England. Kirra thinks not so much, as our titles would be based on theirs because we were colonised by them, and they would have created the land titling system. I’d agree with this, seeing as we have counties and parishes, which seem like an odd thing to have since use council divisions, not counties. They’re just superfluous, leftovers from olden days. But I like that. And I like when you find a really old title, like 1800s, the paper is so delicate and the entire thing is written in caligraphic handwriting, and they have information on there like the owners occupation (womens occupation is usually married woman, spinster, or widow) and they describe things as romantically as legalese would allow, which is much more than it would be nowadays. At the titles office they have the very first title of QLD (now cancelled of course) that was something like Volume 1, Folio 1, back in the days when they used Volumes and Folios in Queensland. It’s framed and hanging on the wall. I don’t know why I’m writing about this in such a fascinated way. It’s just work.

I’m going to bed.