Well, it’s not as if I’ve been dead, but I guess I do feel like I’ve been out of regular social interactive circles lately. This is mostly due to work – I’ve been working five & a half day weeks for a few weeks now, pretty much since I got back from Europe in January. I’m so tired!

I had drinks with Chris & Brenden on Friday night. Chris wasn’t drinking, and so dropped me home at a reasonable hour, seeing as I had work the next morning. i didn’t end up getting to sleep until about 2am, following my usual late night ritual of staying up long enough not to feel room-spinningly drunk. I usually avoid hangovers that way. That and drinking lots of non-alcoholic, non-caffeinated fluids, and eating vegemite on toast. Vegemite ftw!

It was so good to see Chris and Brenden again, and hanging out on Luke & Michelle’s balcony, with its view right across to the harbour bridge, wasn’t bad either. I’ve missed the time with friends while I’ve been in self-imposed hermit-mode.

I still feel it necessary to say, however, that I am missing other people as well, and it’s not as easy as just saying, ‘let’s tee up a time, shall we?!’ Several people live a 23 hour plane ride away, and others perhaps only a two hour plane ride, but it seems not to make any difference to my ability to see them.

Anyway, I’m going to play guitar hero. I’ve been playing most of the afternoon, and it makes me feel nostalgic. Due to lack of practice, I’m crap at the drums, but the guitar seems to be just like riding a bike.

The name of my band in Guitar Hero (randomly selected by the game) is ‘Kitten Jugglery’. I don’t know whether to imagine kittens juggling, or people juggling kittens.

 

These are some things happening right now:

  1. Tim and I are trying to sell our house
  2. We leave for a two week holiday in Japan on 22 November
  3. I start my new job on 23 September
  4. Tim and I are supposed to be getting married on 3 July 2010
  5. I should be asleep

I will readily admit that I have severely neglected this blog, but what else is new? I don’t know why I have such trouble getting motivated to write here.

I want to write so much, but after the Dey Alexander course on Friday, I sort of feel bad about waffling on and on, and making strange run-on sentences and non-existent words.

Anyway, I’m literally falling asleep here. I guess more on this at a later date.

 

… they do if it gets hot enough!

 

The origins of the celebration we now call “Christmas” are interesting and varied, but they have one thing in common – they have nothing to do with Jesus or Christianity.

Go here to read all about it. Don’t worry – it’s not a Christian-bashing thing, just an informative article about the pagan origins of what we now call “Christmas”.

 

Seeing as it’s around 10:20pm on a school night, and I don’t have the energy nor presence of mind to write a proper blog post, I thought I’d just post some random images I’ve recently been offered up by my browser’s best friend, StumbleUpon (if you join up, find me. I’m casbot): 

This last image is from Jason Chan and it’s my desktop background at work right now. It’s very soothing and calming. There’s a lot more illustration and art on Jason’s site, all wonderfully detailed and imaginative. I felt like I was stepping straight into someone else’s head.

Anyway, I’m going to go while I still can. Any minute now my forehead will be down on teh keyboard, forcing me to commit heinous typographical errors (for example “teh”).

Goodnight everyone!! x

 

I’ve been meaning to write this post for quite a while (along with the million other things floating around in my head at any given moment). The reason I’ve procrastinated this one, I suspect, is my own lack of knowledge as to the level of interest this topic may generate. Like it even matters, right? It’s interesting to me, and that should be enough. I’m not writing this blog for the benefit of others. All those enterprising-marketeering-blog snobs can go stuff that in their pipe and choke on it. I wish stumbleupon would stop taking me to their gross “how to get more people to your website by spamming all your friends and acquaintances!” Only they wouldn’t call it spamming, they’d call it networking. And they wouldn’t call them friends and acquaintances, they’d call them networks. 

Sorry. Cynical side of me peeked out for a moment there. People make and keep acquaintances for the sole purpose of extending their network kind of disgust me a little. How do you ever know what’s real with them? How do they ever maintain a real relationship? Isn’t it a constant question of “what else can I get from you to propel myself forward another millimetre?” 

I’m sure that the people who live their lives this way don’t even realise that’s what they’re doing. How about you stop pondering what other people can do for you, and start to simply enjoy the company of others? How about just being in the moment? How about having friends as friends, and not as rungs of a ladder that you tread on to get yourself further up in the world? 

*******

OMG I love my life. 

I love not feeling the need to constantly justify my actions, living in the moment, allowing myself freedom to feel the emotions that come naturally. I’m still careful not to hurt anyone. 

Everyone should read this book. My interest in the undead springs forth from my initial interest in a) the Black Death, and b) apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic novels such as “Plague” (originally “Plague 99″) by Jean Ure, and “A Wrinkle in the Skin” by John Christopher. 

My interest has just been piqued by the term ‘pedigree collapse’, when referring to genealogy. Much favoured by European royal families (see the Hapsburg jaw/lip syndrome! Also known as prognathism), and sometimes necessary after the Black Death ravaged the population of Europe so much.

The part of me that loves anthropology loves the Black Death for it’s catalytic effect on the development of Modern English, on the very social fabric apparent at the time, and on the population’s understanding of the world and their place in it. I’d love to go back in time like Kivrin in “Doomsday Book” (Connie Willis) and see the everyday lives of the different social classes. 

I’m tired. Those are good books. Read them. I’m obsessed.

 

through the pain and drug-induced stupor that’s been my existence for the past couple of weeks or so, I am amazed that my brain has been able to process anything at all.

And WordPress, would you stop updating every two weeks? You’re being all Microsofty. Gimme a hefty update in one go… with a few goodies thrown in. Maybe a few complimentary, optional widgets, or a theme or two.

Anyway, back to my previous train of thought… I had an important realisation this afternoon, maybe even an epiphany, or perhaps a lightbulb moment? Whatever the term, I feel kind of happy and stupid about it. Happy because it makes things easier for me, and stupid because I didn’t realise that I was making my life unnecessarily complicated.

My realisation was to do with the complex I have about not having attained my HSC, and not having attended university despite it being my dream of dreams since I started working full-time. The realisation is this: IT DOESN’T MATTER. It really doesn’t matter anymore. The fact that I don’t have a piece of paper to give to the university saying, “this is how smart Cass is, you should let her go into this course”, should make no difference to my motivation in fulfilling my dreams. I already know there are paths that I can follow. I’ve procrastinated and procrastinated, all the while telling myself, “I’ll wait until next year, then it will be easier.” or, “I’ll just continue slowly working my way up the ranks and soon I’ll get somewhere I’ll really be proud of myself for.”

Why? Why keep putting it off? I can justify my actions again and again, and justify not taking the first step because, well, I guess it takes effort. Who gives a fuck? I don’t mean to swear, but really. It’s not the be all and end all of the universe.

There’s so much out there. If this is what I really want to do, then all I need to do is take the first step.

Thanks universe, I love your endless sparkling craziness.

 

http://www.getup.org.au/campaign/SaveTheNet/442

Please click the above link to visit a site where you can sign a petition against the censorship of the internet in Australia. 

From the website:

The Federal Government is planning to force all Australian servers to filter internet traffic and block any material the Government deems ‘inappropriate’. Under the plan, the Government can add any ‘unwanted’ site to a secret blacklist.

Testing has already begun on systems that will slow our internet by up to 87%, make it more expensive, miss the vast majority of inappropriate content and accidentally block up to 1 in 12 legitimate sites.

 

There is more information on the site, but basically, they want us all to be net shrooms. As if our internets here isn’t slow enough, they’re going to slow it down even more AND make it more expensive. 

Are they trying to make us into ignorant idiots? Because this is the best way to go about it. You can’t block out the entire world. My analogy is that this new plan is the equivalent of passing a legislation that means that everyone in Australia has to have both their hands cut off, to stop murderers. The fact is, if the murderers want to murder, they’re going to find a way around it. And in the end, it means a lot of inconvenience to everyone else in the country who ISN’T doing anything wrong.

 

I am in love with mangoes.

Ever since we got back from Europe, I’ve been having mangoes whenever I can. Lunch and dinner most days (we’ve only been back for a week). They are pretty expensive. Last week they were being sold at Coles for $3.96 each, and at Woolworths for $1.99 each. Now, Woolworths is also selling them for $3.96 each! Rip off! Don’t they know we’re in a recession? We need to give the economy a boost, not beat it down further!

Mangoes are so good for several reasons. First off, they smell like Christmas holidays, like summertime, like picnics on the headland at the beach. They taste like Christmas morning, like camping out in your own backyard with your cousins who’ve come to stay for the holidays, like swinging out over the tops of the saplings on the homemade swing on the huge gumtree in the middle of the backyard, or like jumping on the trampoline with five other kids from the neighbourhood, and not learning the lesson when someone got hurt.

That’s a lot to attribute to the smell and taste of a mango, I know. I guess I’m using it as the physical manifestation of everything that I love about Christmastime. I’m hopelessly nostalgic.

 

Shhhh.

I’m a little tired, my ankle is a little sore. My right index fingertip is stinging. Um… Not sure what else I can complain about right now. Today is Thursday, the day before Friday, the day before my favourite day of the week. Friday rocks my socks because the weekend and all its possibilities are stretched out before me. There are still two whole nights being non-weeknights. Sunday is a little bit sucky. Despite the fact that it’s a lazy day most weeks, it’s too close to the end of the weekend, and the sudden, cold drop back into work mode. Like waking up by someone splashing your face with cold water. Out of this dream land for me!

I’m so happy words exist. I’m so glad that I can learn new words whenever I like. Making them stick in my brain is another thing altogether, but for the most part I seem to do okay.

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