I must remember not to turn my computer on when I am trying to get ready for work. The pro of having a clock constantly there with the time (otherwise I have to keep checking my phone) is far outweighed by the con – being that I cannot just leave the computer to sit there, I think I have time to surf… “maybe just while I’m drying my hair…” which turns into half an hour and that’s half my time gone. Then I know I’ll never be ready for the first bus, so I think I’ll just catch the next bus, then that bus becomes the next one and so on, until I have no hope of getting to work on time. Maybe I’m exaggerating just a little. But it’s harder to make up the time when I get to work late, because my entire day is planned around me getting to work early and finishing early.
I met up with Noelle in the city today after I finished work at 1pm. We were supposed to be watching the St. Paddy’s day parade (which, for some reason, isn’t on St. Pat’s day but is on the week before) but it turned out that it finished at 12pm, so I was never going to be out in time for that anyway. We ran errands – which means we went shopping. I managed not to buy anything today – shock-horror! Ooops apart from groceries that is. We were trying to find some shoes for Noelle, but had no luck. Nothing that inspiring around. We picked up her photos though, and had a look through them while waiting for the bus.
There were so many emos crowding around near speakers corner in King George Square today. Some of them had letters on their shirts, and they started lining up so the words were spelling something. Noelle was shocked. “Those emos are organised emos!” She said. Luckily she had her camera, and was wearing emo clothes, so she went up and took a photo. Bold move! She got death stared by an emo for laughing at something one of them said. Also in King George Square, further down near the crossing to the mall, there were some evangelists with a recording playing from a boom box. We pondered over their definition of adultery for a minute, and pretended to look interested. I wanted one of them to come over to us and offer us one of their little pamphlets, then I could say, “hey, buddy, you’re preaching to the choir.” And it would be funny because he was preaching, even if I’m not in the choir. But I don’t like the evangelists. It’s like they’re trying to shove something down your throat, and I don’t think it’s worthwhile unless you come to the conclusion yourself that this is the road you need to be following. It’s not about someone telling you the right way to go – you’ve got to figure that out for yourself or you’ll never understand it from your own point of view. I said “JUDGE NOT LEST YE BE JUDGED!” Which seems to be my catch cry at the moment, and Noelle said “Maybe they want to be judged, because they think they’re perfect, so that’s why they’re judging other people.” Which I hadn’t thought about before, but now it makes sense. Self-righteous sanctimonious ecclesiastical sycophants. Who’s judging who now? WHO’S PERFECT NOW?
Anyway, today was fun. Once I finished work that is. Work was boring boring boring. So boring you can’t even imagine. I was looking at my future holiday accrual balances, and I’m not sure if I should take extra days off after my holiday. I will need to book it in now, to make sure no one else takes the dates that I want to take! Melinda and I can’t be off at the same time, as there needs to be a mentor there. But what if we were both sick on the same day? They should be prepared for instances such as that. But apparently there shouldn’t be any jet-lag when I go to China because China is only two hours behind us, and the flight isn’t that long. I’m not having any of the food on the plane. I can hold out until I get to Shanghai. The plane food on the way home from London made me so sick, just thinking about it makes me feel slightly queasy. Yuck.
I’m up late again! But at least I can sleep in tomorrow YAY. Sleeeep. I love sleep.
So. Last night, instead of going to sleep, I wrote a whole stream of consciousness down on paper, and it makes no sense whatsoever. But this is what’s in my head.
Happiness is a bell ringing
At the back of your throat
And when you open your mouth
Shiny sounds tumble out!
Those who told you
“Life is lived through sunshine alone!”
Will stay silent when night falls
And they don’t know how to live!
I watched them all gather in a corner
Pronouncing us a lost cause
And, with a sigh, moving on.
Next order of business! …
Killing time!
Minute taker, take an hour
I’ve got no use for all this time
The day’s stretched out before me
Like a blank page
And me without a pen!
I followed the path but it
turned out to be a furrow in
a field of angry red flowers,
where I am standing, dismayed
and disenchanted.
I followed a path of angry followers on
an angry mission to rid the world
of amibvalence
Anything to feel something!
There was smoke curling in tendrils
From the corners of your mouth
You were on fire and I was
on the edge of my seat
But you are all burnt out and black inside.
That’s how I began.
Wait for the green to start over again, and
it will grow. It won’t become what you want it to be,
but I was much more impresed by the ending anyway.
Tell me again.