Milo advocates cannibalism!

I am having trouble concentrating on this, since I’m sitting in the living room and Tim is sitting next to me on the couch playing GTA4, my train of thought is constantly interrupted by police sirens and random soundbites of NPCs.

I’m going to interview Tim about various aspects of our holiday, just for a different point of view. He has trouble doing two things at once. I wonder how irritated he gets by my questions.

What is your favourite purchase from the US?
Tim: GTA4
Originally, Tim’s answer was “Lucky Brand Jeans”, but I reminded him that he bought those in Canada, not the US.

What’s your favourite souvenir from the holiday?
Tim: I think maybe that skull thing mask that I got for Dad.
This is a small, dark brown tribal mask he got in Canada.

What’s the thing you missed most while you were away?
Tim: Po
Po is our cat. He stayed with Lauren and Nathan (sister & brother-in-law) while we were away.

What’s the thing that you missed the most about Australia?
Tim: Driving on the left-hand side of the road.
Me: Really?  
Time: No… I don’t know how to explain it. Just the way it feels like home here, the atmosphere. I don’t know if that’s a good explanation or not.

What did you like most about the US?
Tim: The Oregon Coast

What did you like least about the US?
Tim: Um.. Some of the people. Like, some of the sales staff and that were a bit brusque.

What was the best food you tasted in America?
Tim: Probably that steak at the San Francisco mall.
To explain – that steak was “Char-roasted Sirloin Tri-tip” from “Buckhorn Grill” in the Westfield mall on Market Street in San Francisco.

What was the worst food you tasted in America?
Tim: Probably those french fries we got that night that were cold and… you remember? They had the skin on them and all that.
These were fries we got through a room service thing from a local restaurant. They were cold by the time we got them, and undercooked, and they had potato skin on them, and some sort of seasoning.

What are you going to miss about the US?
Tim: Being on holiday.
Me: I knew you were going to say that. It’s not really specific to the US.
Tim: I know. Um… Probably the views of driving up the coast.

What was the funniest thing that happened on the holiday?
Tim: When I gave the quarter to the homeless man, and he paid me out. No, I gave him the change I had, and he paid me out.
There were these homeless guys standing outside Subway, where we bought dinner. As we walked out, they asked us for money. I didn’t have any cash (I relied on Tim for cash, since my cashcard didn’t work in the US) but Tim dropped what change he had from Subway into their cup. The guy he gave it to then proceeded to complain about how little Tim had given him, and “you coulda at least given me a dollar”. Isn’t there a saying that beggars can’t be choosy, or choosers? Gosh!

Anyway, here is the first of my travels:

Not actually the whole of Western Australia, just Perth. The trip over involves a red-eye flight several hours long. I feel like this should mean that people on the Western Coast would be different that the people of the East Coast of Australia, but I guess that we all started out from similar beginnings, and our beginnings weren’t that long ago.

Tim and I are traveling to San Francisco in May this year. It’s exciting because I’ve never been to America before, and this will be my first experience of traveling with Tim. I think we’ll be fine. Tim got the tickets using his frequent flyer miles, which is awesome, because he could have used his miles to get ONE business class return to San Francisco, but instead he got TWO economy return to San Francisco. We’re also going to Canada:

One leg of the trip will be by train, and one will be by plane. Apparently the train trip from San Francisco up to Vancouver is beautiful. I’m looking forward to it. I think we will get a sleeper cabin. Tim was also saying we could spend a couple of days in Seattle, which’ll be good, too. I checked online at the average temperatures for that time of year. The maximum is 17.5 degrees Celsius, which suits me so perfectly you can’t even imagine. I wouldn’t mind it being even cooler than that. Check out the picture of Canada – there are polar bears on there! I swear that means they exist there in real life. I love them. And the elk (if that’s what they are). Yay! It’s going to be amazing.

And finally, toward the end of the year, Noelle and I are traveling to Europe and the UK. I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am about revisiting Europe, especially when you consider all the people over there I will get to meet up with: Anna, Ben, Simone&Dave, Ruth… I am so psyched! We’re planning on spending time in London (& surrounds), Amsterdam (yay Anna!), Paris (I forgot to remind Noelle about this one :S), Denmark (yay legoland! and the little mermaid!), somewhere in Ireland (maybe Galway?)… and wherever else we have time to go. I’d love to visit Prague, but time constraints may make that difficult. Also the financial aspect… 

That’s it on the travel front. In other news, I have started my new job (the end of this week marked two weeks there). I’m exhausted, but appreciate the plus side. I guess you could say the end justifies the means. I got a new pair of boots today at DFO without worrying that they would break the bank. The fact that they were only $20 should illustrate my point. It felt so good to have my own money. I won’t be able to be this laissez-faire about my pay every week, but for this week it’s pretty nice. I’m going to start my hardcore savings as of next Thursday. Tim has been extremely helpful with this, and I’m glad that my working has been able to take some stress off him as well. I’m infinitely grateful to him for looking after me this entire time. Although it may seem strange, I feel like there is a good side to this entire experience, and that is to be able to know, without doubt or hesitation, that Tim’s love comes without condition. This is an amazing gift. Tim and Matt are currently playing Guitar Hero III, and bemoaning the insensitivity of the red button on our guitar. We had a nice dinner, a yummy dessert, and there is a Po here for entertainment. Life is pretty good.

1. A new Nintendo DS Lite
Yeah. now you totally see what I mean. “But Cass,” you say, “I thought you already had a DS! You’re completely DS-CRAZY!”
Well, you see, the sad part is that I am a DS-o-phile, and the even sadder part is that my DS broke a while ago (maybe a month now?) so now I am unable to finish Zelda, and also I’m getting more and more afraid of the weeding I’ll have to do when I eventually get back on to Animal Crossing

2. DVD: Nadia and the Secret of Bluewater
Don’t even try. You’re so not going to find it at JB. And no, it’s not a porn, it’s an anime. And no, it’s not hentai.

3. A new mobile phone
I’m currently using Tim’s old mobile. I would dearly love to have a phone which can use realtones and also has other fun features.

4. A drawing tablet for the computer
But not the one that’s on display/demo at Harvey Norman Indooroopilly, that one has not worked once in the million times we’ve been there.

5. Anything with mermaids
Okay so this might not be ridiculously expensive. I pretty much mean movies or tv shows. I already have the first two DVDs of the first season of H2o – Just Add Water. Yay!

6. Those little trading arts final fantasy figurines
They are so cute. And awesome.

7. Several out-of-print books, as follows:
* After the Plague – Jean Ure
* Z for Zachariah – Robert O’Brien
* A Gift Upon the Shore – M. K. Wren

I’m not sure about the second and third book, but I am a billion percents sure that the first book is out of print. And I waaaaaaant it

*Edit: I had to cross out the Z for Zachariah book, because Tim bought some books online from fishpond.com.au, and he needed another book to bring up the total for some reason. I was happy to oblige. Thanks Tim!

On Saturday, Tim and I went to look at a couple of townhouses in Morningside. We only ended up looking at one, because the other one seemed not to be an open house (dumb agents not keeping realestate.com.au updated!). It wasn’t too much of a problem, the one townhouse we did see was gorgeous. It had ducted airconditioning, two bathrooms plus a third toilet downstairs, separate laundry, new quality appliances in the kitchen, and a beautiful courtyard full of baby trees and plants and one big grown-up tree, and a covered paved area perfect for a bbq and outdoor setting.

Far from wearing rose-coloured lenses, I will also note that the kitchen was small, there wasn’t much cupboard space, and the second bedroom was quite small too.

Still, it’s hard enough getting into the housing market, let alone being picky about little things that we would be able to live with without too much trouble.

Unfortunately, there was another couple there who felt the same way. In the end, they were waiting for their parents to show up to tell them how much they could offer for the place. The asking price was $375,000.00, and it was a competition between us and them – the winner being who could make the most attractive deal to the seller. We both had one chance to make an offer, and were encouraged to offer the very most we were willing to pay.

In the end, we lost out to the other couple, which was a bit disappointing. We’ll never know how much we lost by either. It could have been as little as $500, but that’s not really likely.

Anyway, we’re looking at a few more places in different areas now. What we’re aiming at doing is buying something a little bit smaller, and a bit cheaper (hence looking at townhouses as well), pay down the mortgage with extra repayments and keeping all our money in an offset account, and then in a few short years, using the equity in our house to get a new place that would probably be bigger and a more ideal “home”. Maybe something we’d stay in for quite a while. Then we can rent out the old place and use it as an investment property.

I’m keeping my fingers crossed we find a place soon – the housing market is a real cut-throat industry right now, and it’s difficult for first-home buyers to get their foot in the door.

I’d really prefer not having to go all the way out to Darra to find a place…

Here are some shiny things:

* Only four days until Tim gets back
* Pay day tomorrow
* Napoleon
* A rabbit the same colour scheme as Napoleon

I know that the last one is not something I actually have, but I just like imagining it.

This pay period I am not going to buy any clothings. I have far too many bills to pay! Maybe I will get a couple of pairs of tights (because it’s getting colder), but that’s it. My goal for this pay: to be good and stick to my budget! I’m pretty sure I can do it. It will be an interesting experiment. I think the main thing is to cook lunches for work, so that I’m not buying overpriced food that tastes like crap anyway. I did mean to do some sewing last weekend, but never got around to it. I won’t be doing it this weekend, that’s for sure. I wonder if I’ll get time during the week?

Hi Tim! I know you will have played at Glendalough by the time you read this. How was it? How is Ye Olde London Town? I always used to say “Ye” as in how it is spelled, until I read somewhere that in the olden days, Y was the symbol for “th” sound. Therefore, “Ye” is atually just “The”. I kind of liked “ye” better. It’s like how Conor used to speak on the net, “how ar’ ye!?” and it made me think of the sea captain from the Simpsons (arrr, ’tis a shame that).

I feel like going to the movies. Anyone wanna go see a movie? Or something? Or maybe I should use this extra time to do some sewing. I have a few things that need mending.

I’m trying to think of things that are making me feel either peaceful or happy at the moment. One thing that I like is when I have to remove staples from documents at work, and the staples stay on the staple remover. For some reason, it makes me feel like I’ve achieved something when I have a row of staples all stuck on the prongs of the staple remover.

Also, when I receive expense claims from people, I stick the receipts onto pieces of A4 paper so that I can photocopy lots of them at once, and they’re easier to keep together. It’s satisfying when I can fit a lot of receipts onto one piece of paper. It’s sort of like playing tetris or something. I’ll probably be over it in a while and I’ll be all “GOSH idiot!” but for now it’s good.

Noelle and I went out with a few other people last night for St. Paddy’s Day. Neither of us were wearing any green or orange, but we felt very patriotic and showed this by drinking lots of alcohol in true Irish style. At least, I did. I was home in bed by 11:30pm (successful night out! I’m so hardxxcore! not.) but I still had fun. I enjoyed meeting new people, and seeing others who I hadn’t seen in a while.

This is Noe and I doing our best Blue Steels. Or maybe they’re Magnums… I can’t remember. Anyway, I can’t tell you how much this means to me to be the first recipient of this beautiful award. With this ’slash’ award, it means that you consider me the best actor/model, and not the other way around. Speaking of Fabio, of all the people to get hit in the face with a seagull while on a rollercoaster, it happening to him was just so poetic. I remember American Liz laughing about it hysterically when we were at dinner in … Innsbruck maybe?

Oh and just so you know, I have now gone as blonde as I can go (for the moment. In another six/seven weeks, I can be even blonder). I’m thinking that I will go back to my natural colour, then exist in that for a while. Then, if I honestly feel that I want to go dark again, and I’m willing to live through the four – five month wait and $500.00 cost to get back to blonde again, at least I’ll be able to make a more informed decision. I’ve become informed by experience about a lot of things lately.

I’m still sad, but the pockets of happiness are growing. Here is a quote from Anna’s blog which describes the way that I have been feeling lately. I’m not really up to the end bit yet, but I can see the possibility which I think is the start:

It’s like a bushfire ravaging your insides… uncontrollable, searing heat and chaos. Finally the fire dies down, the embers turn from red to black and only the ashes remain. And everything inside is silent, the colour of charcoal and ashes… empty. It starts to rain and you are swamped with the drip drip drip of disappointment, not really knowing how to wade through it to drier land. Then slowly the runoff is soaked up, fades away, and small buds start to peek through the blackness … something new is growing. And then you see it and marvel at the wonder of it all, how new life could possibly find its way through all that devastation. And then you start to feel some pieces of happiness again. The hard part is the first part, the fire, the embers, the ashes. But the emergence of the seeds is truly an amazing thing! Just as good as the smell of spring.

What I have realised I can learn from this new environment, new situation, new life journey:
Whether I truly like the company I keep in the empty moments. If I can disappoint another to be true to myself. If I can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray my own soul. If I know what it is that sustains me, from the inside, when all else falls away. If I know what being true to myself looks like in daily practice.

I think, out of everything that I lost sight of from losing myself to something so strong, the hardest to get back was my sense of self, and the sense that me as me is okay. In fact, better than okay. Me being me, being true to myself, is the best it gets. Doing things that fulfill me, feeling strong and empowered… these are the things that I need to get back. Although I still feel the pain, I can feel it without regret. I can appreciate the time that we were together. I won’t lose myself to bitterness. I can be honest with myself about this, and concentrate on looking after myself for a while. These realisations can only happen when we are able to accept the situation. When we are able to learn the lessons, however painful they might be. Julia said, “you can step into the pain, but don’t immerse yourself in it.” This is true. I might need to cry sporadically, but crying purges a little of the pain at a time, and leaves room for new growth. What grows is a new part of me that is stronger, more self-sufficient, more aware.

It’s not about going out and finding a rebound. I can’t use people that way. And I don’t want meaningless encounters. I’m too inwardly-focussed for that to do anything for me at all, and I know that from past experience that it only makes me feel like I’ve devalued myself. I’m lucky to have so many people around who are looking out for me. You are all my angels.

I don’t feel like writing.

I’m currently waiting for the Indian food that I ordered to arrive. Noelle and I were going to go to the movies tonight to see The Wrong Man, but then Julia (who would have been Noelle’s ride home) couldn’t go because she had a family dinner on. Therefore, the effort of Noelle having to get home and get changed and ready and then come back into southbank and see the movie, then wait around for another two hours for Julia, would be just too much. Also, Noelle was tired, and I was busy at work. We’re getting paid for overtime at the moment, and I really want to take advantage of it. I love getting cabcharges too. Tomorrow is payday, so finally I get to reap the benefits of all the extra work that I’ve been putting in. I’ve also clocked up quite a bit of time for next pay, too

We’re going to see Borat on Thursday! woot!

Also, just fyi, Super Mario for Nintendo DS is really good. It’s just like Super Mario Bros. 3, with little maps and those sideshow games, and the graphics and controls are awesome. I am so in love with DS.

Napoleon and I just got back this morning from Christian’s place. Napoleon met Christian’s cat, Neo, and they had a grand old time. Well, not really. That’s a lie. Neo didn’t like Napoleon at all, and hissed and sulked the whole time. Napoleon got a bit scared and then just acted like nothing happened. I hate when people do that! But it’s okay when Napoleon does because he’s so cute and probably he didn’t think that anything was wrong, even though Neo hated him. Really, all Neo needed was time. Cats usually get used to cute baby kittens invading their territory with time, when they see that everything is still as good as ever: the sun still comes up in the morning and shines on your favourite spot in the garden, you still get to laze about all day and do nothing… Teetee is getting used to Napoleon. Now, instead of getting angry at Napoleon and acting all offended that he even exists, Teetee just tolerates him. If Napoleon comes too close or bothers Teetee when he is eating (which he always does), Teetee will swat him away, but that’s it. And Teetee doesn’t get angry and spiky and growly when Napoleon is around now – he’s just normal and you can pick him up and hug him as well.

I’m tired. Night!

Anyway, enough of that. Cocktails & BBQ at my place this Friday night from about 7pm to celebrate Napoleon kitten’s existence! If you haven’t met Napoleon kitten yet, this would be the ideal forum for such an endeavour. I guarantee you’ll like him. There’s just no way possible that anyone could not. It’s impossible.

Payday tomorrow. I’ll be putting aside some money for the Yamba weekend, and also paying off a crapload of crap. Crap such as the rest of the vet bill, and some money on my credit card. I’m thinking I’ll also need to get some credit for my phone, which is something that I haven’t had to think about until recently when I cancelled my post-paid account with Optus and switched to Vodafone. This is, incidentally, one of the best suggestions ever made to anyone in the history of the world. I recommend it to everyone.

Also I want to buy a new dress. Scaasi is just teasing me every time I walk past there and they have the most beautiful dresses and I just look and sigh and my eyes are glued to the window until about Sunglasses Hut when I am unceremoniously dragged from my reverie by the stupid guy with the portable microphone. BLEUGH!

I was underwhelmed by Violent Soho & Faker. I hadn’t had anything to drink and I’m not used to being stone cold sober when I’m out at a concert. It felt awkward to be dancing in the side part, where all the lights were on and there weren’t many people. But then, when we had been in the throng, it was boiling hot and there were some overzealous people who didn’t realise that it wouldn’t be a good idea to go all out headbanging when there’s so little room for each person as it is. I preferred being out of that, and it was a fun night.

We spoke to John afterwards, but Patience was nowhere to be seen. I’m not sure where she was. I think John might have said but I obviously wasn’t paying enough attention to remember. My memory is so bad. At the moment I’m kind of just going along on my merry way, oblivious to everything until I get a phone call saying “you had an appointment today” or, “are you planning on paying this bill any time soon?” And then I get stressed because I haven’t been thinking about these things at all. At least if you think about them and mull over them for a bit they’re not such a rude shock.

Anyway. I just realised that I’m tired. I got to bed at about… 1:20am this morning, and then woke up again at 7:55am. Mum came into my room when I had woken up and was asking where the kitten was, and then said “What are you doing up?”. I don’t know how you’re supposed to answer that question, so it irritated me for some reason. What am I doing up? Hmmm. I have no idea what someone is actually asking when they say that. “Why are you awake?” could be another way of terming it. I just said, “I woke up. I’m awake.” Because that’s kind of what the answer is always going to be.

This is a story that I submitted for a creative writing task at school, I think in Yr 11. I think it also counted towards our final assessment. This was only part of the submission, and I can’t remember what the guidelines were. If you’re interested in the outcome, read until the end and I’ll tell you what grade I got.

One day, a man came out of his house and found that it was raining plastic bags. As this had never happened before, he called all his neighbours out to see. One of them was an old Chinese man. He said that the same thing had happened to the Communists in China in the early 1900s, but everyone doubted his story. He was like all old men, and just kept on talking, until a cat told him to go home.

By now, the plastic bags were steadily rising, so everyone decided to call on Super Ted to help. Super Ted came and said his magic word. Of course it was ‘Franks and Beans’ because Super Ted is a Pommy teddy bear. Someone overheard and soon the whole neighbourhood was zooming around in the sky, which was lucky because the plastic bags were not well over the roofs of the houses. It was raining plastic bags everywhere in Australia and Super Ted had to tell everyone his magic word so that they didn’t disappear under the plastic bags.

So now the whole population was in the air and out of harm, they all sold the plastic bags to other countries, and organised to make a bridge to the moon out of compounded plastic bags. All Australians were by now very rich from selling their plastic bags, and could afford to live in other countries, because no one could live in plastic bags. This is why Australia was called, “The Wacky Wonderworld of the South.”

So, if you were wondering, the entire assignment was graded A+. It’s such a load of crap.