Something interesting… I’m not sure if it’s actually true. It could be that the creator(s) just used that algorithm about so many births and deaths on average per minute etc. Still, it’s kind of interesting to see things ticking away like that. Like how some people go do that “find out the day of your death” tests that gives you a calculator at the end, and they bookmark it and then keep going back just to watch the seconds of their life tick away. I mean, I don’t do that, but I know that some people do, because I”m pretty sure I’ve read blogs where they’ve said that.
Apr 032007
Chris has been sending me messages all afternoon, and they’ve been making me lol. It would be embarrassing, except that I’ve already done far more embarrassing things, without the help of nonsensical texts from Chris. I sometimes think that I’m not capable of being embarrassed, until I remember when I was younger and got angry at my mum for ignoring me when I asked if she could get me a book down off a shelf in a store, and then she turned around and it wasn’t mum. So I guess I was embarrassed then, but not so much any more. I think I’m more able to laugh at myself now. And I’m not sure whether that’s a good thing, or a bad thing. If I’m happy, then it’s good, right?
The news, as reported by Chris this afternoon via text messages:
4:32pm: Australian Snowboarder dies in all in Swiss Alps
4:33pm: Man eats buffit
4:35pm: Pea joins fight against curds, and way.
4:35pm: Sensodyne doesn’t work. Says man.
4:39pm: Squid sucks off womans toe in violent rage
4:40pm: Connect four does.
4:41pm: Hicks gets hooked on hickies and ham.
4:43pm: Alma fudd fucked by buggs in horror burrow rape.
4:43pm: Tree gives way under pressure from sky.
4:46pm: Metho accused of aboriginal deaths and arrested on murder charges.
4:47pm: Howard says workchoice legislation have delivered on liberal panties plan.
4:48pm: Bill evans from westpac reports on finance news and looks like stoned old Fuck.
4:49pm: Tom Cruise lies. Again.
4:50pm: Man lays egg and forgets where he puts it
4:53pm: Optus steals boat load of south african animals and puts them to work in call centre offering small pay and water.
4:54pm: Kochie shiTs out of mouth whilst talking under water and clapping hands like a seal.
4:55pm: Police on gold coast investigate japan-e-ze.
———–
I feel nice and fresh and clean. I was a bit tired today, not too much. I’m finding that I have more energy than I used to. I’m not sure why… I feel pretty happy right now. I’ve got sunshine in a bag. I felt this last week, but felt I couldn’t trust it. This sort of effortless soaring, this feeling of coasting over everything I used to stamp my feet in the dust bout… it’s a bit daunting because there’s so far to fall. I’m no longer so greatly affected by external influences. It was almost that… other people determined my mood. Right now I’m…. something 
Play this game!!!!! invisibles-2.xls I kind of like these little distractions. However, it does seem like if you can’t get the exact phrasing/punctuation/etc right, it will tell you you’re wrong. Don’t take it personally, it told me too. I think it’s just a sociopath.
Mar 182007
I’ve been absent-minded lately. Ashleigh called me out to reception and held the receiver of the phone out to me. Usually this means that I have a call (because I don’t have a phone at my desk since it’s only temporary). So, I said “hello?” and the person on the other end started talking, saying “oh hi Cassandra, I was just calling to let you know that so-and-so’s flights will need to be booked today…” and all the while I’m saying “ok, yeah, hmm” and then she said “well, I guess I’ll try get in contact with you later. If you get this before I’ve tried again, could you please give me a call back on blah blah blah…” and so I said “no, wait! I’m here!” I thought that she had been diverted through to voicemail, and Ashleigh was sitting there laughing at me. She said “it’s a message you freak!” And that was embarrassing. Because I didn’t know! But yeah, it is a bit funny I guess.
I’m trying to think of things that are making me feel either peaceful or happy at the moment. One thing that I like is when I have to remove staples from documents at work, and the staples stay on the staple remover. For some reason, it makes me feel like I’ve achieved something when I have a row of staples all stuck on the prongs of the staple remover.
Also, when I receive expense claims from people, I stick the receipts onto pieces of A4 paper so that I can photocopy lots of them at once, and they’re easier to keep together. It’s satisfying when I can fit a lot of receipts onto one piece of paper. It’s sort of like playing tetris or something. I’ll probably be over it in a while and I’ll be all “GOSH idiot!” but for now it’s good.
Noelle and I went out with a few other people last night for St. Paddy’s Day. Neither of us were wearing any green or orange, but we felt very patriotic and showed this by drinking lots of alcohol in true Irish style. At least, I did. I was home in bed by 11:30pm (successful night out! I’m so hardxxcore! not.) but I still had fun. I enjoyed meeting new people, and seeing others who I hadn’t seen in a while.
This is Noe and I doing our best Blue Steels. Or maybe they’re Magnums… I can’t remember. Anyway, I can’t tell you how much this means to me to be the first recipient of this beautiful award. With this ’slash’ award, it means that you consider me the best actor/model, and not the other way around. Speaking of Fabio, of all the people to get hit in the face with a seagull while on a rollercoaster, it happening to him was just so poetic. I remember American Liz laughing about it hysterically when we were at dinner in … Innsbruck maybe?
Oh and just so you know, I have now gone as blonde as I can go (for the moment. In another six/seven weeks, I can be even blonder). I’m thinking that I will go back to my natural colour, then exist in that for a while. Then, if I honestly feel that I want to go dark again, and I’m willing to live through the four – five month wait and $500.00 cost to get back to blonde again, at least I’ll be able to make a more informed decision. I’ve become informed by experience about a lot of things lately.
I’m still sad, but the pockets of happiness are growing. Here is a quote from Anna’s blog which describes the way that I have been feeling lately. I’m not really up to the end bit yet, but I can see the possibility which I think is the start:
It’s like a bushfire ravaging your insides… uncontrollable, searing heat and chaos. Finally the fire dies down, the embers turn from red to black and only the ashes remain. And everything inside is silent, the colour of charcoal and ashes… empty. It starts to rain and you are swamped with the drip drip drip of disappointment, not really knowing how to wade through it to drier land. Then slowly the runoff is soaked up, fades away, and small buds start to peek through the blackness … something new is growing. And then you see it and marvel at the wonder of it all, how new life could possibly find its way through all that devastation. And then you start to feel some pieces of happiness again. The hard part is the first part, the fire, the embers, the ashes. But the emergence of the seeds is truly an amazing thing! Just as good as the smell of spring.
What I have realised I can learn from this new environment, new situation, new life journey:
Whether I truly like the company I keep in the empty moments. If I can disappoint another to be true to myself. If I can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray my own soul. If I know what it is that sustains me, from the inside, when all else falls away. If I know what being true to myself looks like in daily practice.
I think, out of everything that I lost sight of from losing myself to something so strong, the hardest to get back was my sense of self, and the sense that me as me is okay. In fact, better than okay. Me being me, being true to myself, is the best it gets. Doing things that fulfill me, feeling strong and empowered… these are the things that I need to get back. Although I still feel the pain, I can feel it without regret. I can appreciate the time that we were together. I won’t lose myself to bitterness. I can be honest with myself about this, and concentrate on looking after myself for a while. These realisations can only happen when we are able to accept the situation. When we are able to learn the lessons, however painful they might be. Julia said, “you can step into the pain, but don’t immerse yourself in it.” This is true. I might need to cry sporadically, but crying purges a little of the pain at a time, and leaves room for new growth. What grows is a new part of me that is stronger, more self-sufficient, more aware.
It’s not about going out and finding a rebound. I can’t use people that way. And I don’t want meaningless encounters. I’m too inwardly-focussed for that to do anything for me at all, and I know that from past experience that it only makes me feel like I’ve devalued myself. I’m lucky to have so many people around who are looking out for me. You are all my angels.
Fact: Flies will only continue to beat their wings so long as their feet are free. As soon as the feet become stationary, the will stop flying.
This alone debunks the joke parading as an actual possible scientific experiment, How to build a fly powered toy aeroplane. This was apparently originally published in Mad Magazine, which should logically prove that it’s not really something tried and true.
I’ve done a quick search on google for further debunking sites, but have found none so far. I’ll keep you posted.
Feb 052007
I found something funny while reading a Serious Brisbane Guy’s recent linkings. In keeping with the harblz theme, these images were misappropriated from here.
I had to write a blog entry because of the awesome latin (above) on my Google Homepage at the moment. I have these little Latin phrases displayed, and they change every day. Sometimes it’s not a Latin phrase which is displayed, but a boring quote about something or other from someone like C.S. Lewis, or other known paedophiles. Okay, so it’s only him that I know is a paedophile. Most of the others I know hardly anything of at all.
Btw, everyone needs to check out the updated RSPCA World for Pets online store - if you look carefully, you might see someone you know on the cats page! It’s also a really convenient place to get presents for your animals and humans. Not that Napoleon needs any more presents, mind you. But it’s not about Napoleon, it’s about helping all the other animals. The animals! But it sort of is about Napoleon, because whether he needs more toys, bowls, kitty litter trays, or collars, he’s gettin’ ‘em. And he’ll damn well like it, too! Also, if you go to the About us page, you can check out some of the site content I’ve helped provide.
The little purple light on my wireless broadband is flashing, and it’s very distracting! I’m not connected to it at the moment, and it’s purple because the little wings aren’t out ready for flight.
Anyway. Here is proof that my Napoleon’s legs are too long. I still think he’s beautiful.
Also today, I got to play with Neo on the stairs:
And I got a 1GB mini-SD card for my phone, with an adaptor so that I can put it into the SD slot on my computer. I originally wanted a 2GB card, but the 1GB one was cheap cheap! And probably more space than I’m ever going to need anyway
This is Benyamin’s interpretation of Sin City:
Anyway, is it just me, or does it not feel like Christmas at all? I’ve done almost no Christms shopping this year. It could just be me, because I’ve been so preoccupied with work and everything going on there, and being stressed and feeling crap and everything, I’ve had no energy for Christmas spirit or cheer. What a sad state of affairs! Christmas time used to be my favourite time of year – no matter how many bad Christmases I’ve had, I’m an eternal optimist when it comes to Christmas.
Seems like this year, things have just gone way too far with the consumerism. It had to happen eventually. What’s with upside-down Christmas trees, for example? I’ve heard quite a few people talking about them, but I’ve never seen one in real life. If you’re wondering, this is what they look like:
And the whole reasoning behind them is so that you can fit more presents under the tree.
Firstly, putting your tree upside down is only going to add more available room for TALLER presents, not more presents. Secondly, could I be forgiven for thinking that the people who go in for this have missed the entire point? They’re going to spoil their kids by giving them an excuse to expect MORE this Christmas. Actually, seems these Christmas trees have been around for a while, in America (oh America! America, of all places!), and like the good little bitch of America, we’re running along behind them, desperately seeking to emulate their warped consumer-driven society. But all modern society is consumer-driven, Cass, that’s just the way things are!
I, for one, am not going to buy into the whole “upside-down Christmas tree” mentality this year, or any other year for that matter. And yes, I do realise that I am part of the consumerist society (I have no illusions about that). But for now I’m going to believe that I still have a few ounces of integrity.
Dec 102006
Due to circumstances beyond my control, Casbot blog has been down for a while. But it’s back up again, and hopefully will remain up FOREVER (said in a booming, ominous tone). I felt disenfranchised, and I was going into blogging withdrawal. It’s a very serious condition – symptoms include depression, a general feeling of uselessness, severe boredom, and an uncharacteristic desire to log off the internet after five minutes of pointless surfing. The only cure for me was to reinstate my site, and edit all the content that could possibly get me into hot water.
So, what you see here is not the original, but the censored version of the original. It did make me quite sad to have to cut out entire sections of blog entries, but I suppose that’s what happens when you integrate yourself into a bureaucratic society. I don’t think I’m cut out for a censored life.
Yesterday, Calum and I went to Currumbin Sanctuary, on the Gold Coast. As you can see in the following photos, we had a grand old time.
Mum and dad are selling our house in Wooloweyah. You can view its entry on Realestate.com here. It’s quite sad that it’s being sold, especially as, if it were fixed up a bit, the price it could go for would be a lot higher. Mum has already asked me to help out with settlement once she finds a property she wants to buy up here, but there’ll be no need for me to help out if she’s going to borrow money in order to purchase it – the Bank will take care of settlement for properties it takes security over. We’ll be living here in this house for another year yet, or at least until the Wooloweyah house sells.
Nov 122006
This post is inspired by my new DS Lite. (No, Nintendo are not paying me. They’re just stealing all my boredoms).
My interest in video games, however, was inspired by our Townsville cousins, The Towlers. Anna, Noelle, and Clare would come to visit us each Christmas, and one Christmas they received something that would shape our lives to come: a Super Nintendo (or SNES).
They also had two games: Spy vs Spy, and Super Mario Bros. 3. Spy vs Spy was a good time-waster – look in some filing cabinets, get blown up a couple of times; but Super Mario Bros. 3 was something else entirely. Any list of my favourite video games must start with the game that started it all:
Super Mario Bros. 3: Nintendo Entertainment System (NES)
I don’t know why I like this game so much. It’s a million times better than the other mario games. Nothing in the mario range has come close to being this good, even with the increase in quality of graphics and better controls, they still can’t compete. There were so many awesome things in this game: the map, the mini-games where you have to choose a box, or where you have to make the little spinning pictures line up… Or all the secret levels that you could get to if you only had either a raccoon or a tanooki suit… Check out the Wikipedia article. They know what I’m sayin’.
Mario in his super-leaf Raccoon suit.
Mario in his Tanooki suit.
Mario in the kuribo shoe. This is my favourite level, just because of the shoe.
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time: Nintendo 64 (N64)
This game came with the N64 console when we bought it from some kid up the street, along with James Bond 007 (I think, though I can’t remember ever playing it), and Rosie somehow acquired Pokemon Stadium or something. Despite the fact that the Zelda series is pretty old, I had never heard about it before. It quickly became the number one game played on the N64 in our household, and Lauren, Rosie and I took turns in beating the bosses and playing missions. It was a team effort, but I was especially good at beating monsters and then collapsing in tears from the stress of it. I love this game. I think I had a secret, unacknowledged crush on Link for a while there. Or maybe I’m just making the connection between Link and Legolas. They do look pretty similar. Check out Wiki on this one too.
Link and the cuckoos
Link being all moody.
Link in Legolas mode
Zelda:Ocarina is an in-depth multi-layered puzzle/adventure/RPG. There are side quests that span across the entire game, through shifts in time and location.
Still TBC
This is just a quick one before Chris gets here (we’re going out tonight, feeling alright, gonna let our hair hang do-oown… Ew. Apologies everyone), I haven’t had the chance to post any pictures up here from Superstars since Mel gave me the CD on Friday, and I thought I would take the opportunity now before I get completely drunk and useless (it might be funnier that way, but I might do something I regret that would descimate what little dignity I actually have, and I wouldn’t be able to fix it until late tomorrow morning. I don’t want to take the chance of someone happening across this site when they’re actually looking for casbot grafiche or whatever that other site is that stole my URL and seeing me and saving pictures that I might upload and using them to blackmail me). Because I so care what random people think.
No, seriously I don’t. Do whatever you like. The real reason I’m not posting these later is because I’ll forget. Or I’ll be too busy playing my DS Lite. I’m in love with it. It’s sleek, smooth case; it’s clear, bright screen; it’s stylish stylus pen… Ok. I’m back. What was I talking about?
Oh yeah. Superstars photos. Here ya go!
Nov 042006
I was checking my grammar for the title (in French) by translating it in both Babelfish and Worldlingo. Literally translated, it means “I have a bad of the head”. What it means is “I have a headache”. What I really wanted to say, however, was that I have a sore head. I looked it up, and it came up with “j’ai une tête endolorie”. I’ve never seen this endolorie word before, so I did a translation of that sentence back into English. Apparently English doesn’t have an equivalent, because what it comes up with is, “I have a head endolorie”. I’m just wondering what makes it possible for a word to have an equivalent translation from English, but then not to be able to translate that same thing back to the same word in English. It’s really strange…
Anyway, the reason for the title is because yesterday morning I hit my head on the broken soap dish in our shower, and had to get six stitches and a tetanus injection. I bent down and when I stood up, I hit my head against the sharp edge of the soap dish that Nathan broke previously with his head. I stood for a while, washing the conditioner out of my hair, and realised that the water off my head tasted salty, and that there was liquid running down my face even when I wasn’t under the shower. I put my hand up to my face, and it came back with blood all over it. It was then that I realised there was blood all over the floor. I went into mum’s room, and she initially thought that I had botched a dye job or something. She took me to the hospital though, and went dressed in her PA uniform (it seems like we get preferential treatment when they can see mum’s a nurse) so I got seen straight away. It still took a while for them to stitch me up and send me off.
I was seen by an intern, who didn’t use enough local anaesthetic to start with (which, by the way, hurts A LOT more than either the injury OR the stitching) so I could feel him pulling the needle through the cut. Mum thought that I was only going to have a couple of stitches, but I ended up needing six. When I stood back up again after the intern had finished stitching, I looked back at the pillow and it was just red from all the blood.
I was lucky that the cut is just back from the hairline, and so isn’t visible or anything. The registrar came in to see me before the guy started stitching and asked if I could handle some mess for a few days. “What mess?” I said. She said “We could glue your scalp together.” And I said, “Probably not a good idea. I have an awards night tomorrow night.” So stitches it was. I’m relieved. It was bad enough having blood all through my hair, let alone glue. I wonder if I’d even be able to wash my hair? Granted I haven’t washed my hair since it happened, not with shampoo and conditioner anyway, but I’m definitely going to before tonight.
Christian and I watched a few episodes of Jericho last night. It’s a good show. I haven’t watched it since the first episode was on TV, because I don’t keep track of the TV schedule and I don’t really watch TV at all, but this was a show that I would probably buy when it’s out on DVD. Like Lost, which apparently has started its third season, and I haven’t even seen the second one. I really need to catch up.
I have come to the conclusion that there aren’t enough hours in the day. With work, friends, family… how does anyone have time to do anything they want to do? I guess it would be good if what you want to do includes spending time with friends and family (which it does), but it seems to be a difficult balance to be able to do really well at work, and still be able to concentrate on the other things. It might be simply because of overtime at the moment (which wears me out, but I can’t turn it down all the time because it’s good money) and the fact that I feel guilty when I can’t get my usual 15 files done in a normal working day. On Thursday night I hit the wall, as far as productivity is concerned. I did 15 files (I think – as I wasn’t at work yesterday I couldn’t check the report), which should be a good day, but by the end of it I just literally could not even look at another file, I’d just had enough of it.
I’ll have to do a whole heap of work on Monday to make up for my clumsiness on Friday preventing me from being able to go to work. We’re so short staffed at the moment.
Awards night tonight, at City Hall. I wonder what it will be like. I wonder if we’ll win prizes? There will be a couple of different people there this time, I think… Ben will be there, which will be fun. I think it’s Kathryn, Melinda, Penny, Aileen, Scott, Stephen, Debbie, me, Ben, Karen. Maybe. Not sure if I have that right. Or maybe Denis will be there, and someone else not… I’ll find out tonight.
I have to pick up my dress from Scaasi! Yay.