I’ve been a bit lazy with my blog entries lately. Here is an update of things that have happened…

Friday morning, our cousin Laura arrived from Adelaide to stay with us for eight days. Christian drove us out to the airport (to de aaeee paaaart) to collect her. Friday night, Christian’s mum took us out for dinner at Jupiters to thank us for helping with the moving and settlement of their house. The food was delicious, and the drinks were cheap. What more could anyone ask?

Saturday night, Chris and Willy had drinks for Willy’s birthday. Originally, these drinks were supposed to happen at Chris’ old place in New Farm. But since they felt they couldn’t really have a good time with Chris’ housemate’s furniture all over the place, it was changed to be at New Farm Park. Then, because it might rain, and also because no one could drink in New Farm Park, Chris and Willy decided to rent a room at the Formule (it’s for mules, Willy, for mules!) 1 motel just up the road from us in Windsor. $65.00 a night – cheap cheap! Chris was embarrassed because he was wearing black & white checkered shorts, and he didn’t realise that he looked like an Indy girl and he was staying at a racing motel. All the complications and decisions and revisions aside, and despite the fact that the room smelled not-so-faintly of old man and urine, it ended up being a super-fun night, with lots of exploring the hallways that reminded us of The Shining; throwing cheese squares; Willy dirty-dancing with the bunk-bed; Willy thrusting at Noelle’s face; Lauren and Noelle trying 20-second poses competition; and the squashing of cheese into the floor which was the only way we could tell which room we were in when we got drunk and went exploring.

Sunday, feeling none too worse for wear, found us getting up early for a day at Caloundra. We got there mid-morning and went straight in for a swim at Bulcock beach. It was a perfect beach day. Christian showed us how we could swim and not get anywhere because the current was so strong. Clare showed us that sand is a good exfoliant by surreptitiously putting handfuls of it down everyones’ swimmers. We had a picnic lunch a bit further up, in a nice grassy area near a playground. Then we went for a final swim in a beach that had some small waves which Christian tried, somewhat unsuccessfully, to bodysurf, and then packed up and headed home.

I’ve got really bad sunburn. Sucks to be me!

The drive home was interesting. Laura went completely hyper and provided entertainment for the trip, with her hatred of station wagons somehow providing a new, more logical name for them: “dick-shaped cars”. Eg. “Hey Kirsty, wanna have a razz in the back of my dick-shaped car?” (Razz=root in bogan Yamba vernacular).

This week has been fairly hectic for me. I’ve had a couple of agency interviews, my CV has been sent to numerous jobs on Seek, I’ve typed, Worded, and Excelled my little heart out, and I’ve been plagued by an indecision that’s threatened my sanity (though it’s not hard to threaten that. I seem to have such a tenuous grip on reality that even a kitten shaped like a drum kit could send me over the edge).

My favourite job agency so far is Davidsons. The consultant I’ve been dealing with, Krissy, is quite possibly the nicest, most supportive I’ve ever dealt with out of any agency. I’m currently waiting to hear back from her on a couple of possibilities. I hope that I find employment through them because they are an excellent recruitment company to deal with.

Apart from the job interviews, the work situation has been pretty stress-free this week. Apart from today, that is, but I’m not even going to open that can of worms. I think the reason I haven’t been as stressed is because I can see the end from here, I can see all of this no longer being an issue for me. Before it seemed I was just treading water, and I’d continue doing that until I exhausted myself and drowned. I was sure that this was going to be my last week of work. I was sure that I was going to just say, on Friday, “Today’s my last day. Thanks for the opportunity, but I won’t be continuing my employment here.” I’m hesitating because the future is unknown, and the unknown is scary, especially when the past tells me that I might have to wait three weeks to get another job. I don’t think that will happen, because there’s so much temp work out there that, even if I don’t find another job straight away, I shouldn’t be without something to keep the coffers filled until I find that perfect role (it’s never gonna happen, Cass!). Well, perfect for now anyway. I’d like to be able to respect my employer, because I find I am able to work much harder for someone that I respect. And I feel that I will never be able to do that again where I am now. There’s a lot of lost faith, a lot of resentment, and a lot of bitterness. The only thing that stops me from regretting ever accepting the job in the first place is the people that I’ve met there. My friends. Ben, Calum, Mel, Nic, Aileen… all very important to me, and probably the one thing that’s stopped me from going insane lately. Thanks for being there to commiserate. I will miss you lots.

Okay, so up to now. Last night, we had a Thai food & DVD night at ours with Lauren, Nathan, Christian, Clare, Noelle, Laura, The Baby, & me. We watched Clerks II, which Christian and I had already seen but enjoyed it so we didn’t mind watching it again. It’s a pretty good movie – not as angsty as the first one (according to Nathan. I can’t really remember, I watched it that long ago.) All i remember from the first clerks is…

BIG AMERICAN PARTY!!!!!!!!!

How bored am I right now?

Seriously.

I know that you can’t answer that question because I’m the only one sitting here, knowing how bored I am and feeling the boredom. I can tell you how bored I am but I’m kind of occupying myself at the moment so I’m not as bored now as I was a minute ago before I started this entry.

So, how boring is this entry?

Well, that’s difficult to answer too, since it’s only just starting out. At least I think it’s only just starting out, though if I ended it right here it would sort of not be just starting out, it would have pretty much been almost to the end right then. But now that I’ve written some more it’s more like halfway. So I’m confusing myself. And maybe people who can be bothered reading this. Who are you, by the way? Just thought I’d include you in this entry because people like being included in things.

A note from Chris in an old book:

“Fishermen kill fish everyday! Fuck off Fishermen!!”

“Good words:
* Cutlets
* funk
* advocado
* flippant
* heinous
* ruche”

“Panda bears everywhere like bananas”

“Your stupid u hair! FUCK”

Lauren found the book under the house I think, and just brought it in to show me because it was so random and weird. I got a message from Chris the other day saying “is your email address still (blahblahblah)?” I messaged back that it was, and he messaged that he was going to send an invitation. But I still haven’t got one. I’d like to invite him to birthday drinks.

From a fathers day card Ro & I made for dad (also found under the house by Lauren):

Dear dad,
I hope you have a great father’s day. Hey, they don’t call ‘em chats for nothin’, ya little potato.
Love Cassie

Dear Fatty
I want you to have a wonderfull Daddy’s Day this year unlike all your brothers.
Love Roseanna Brisbane

I also really like the pictures in the card, one of dad’s hands reaching out for a block of cadbury’s chocolate, one of a cityscape, and one of dad with this caption “Dad with his favourite haircut (bowl)”. Except that he’s been drawn with breasts. He looks like a woman. When you put all of that together, it’s really not a very nice Father’s day card. I guess we were hyper that day and just went crazy… we did that a lot. The front of the card has blue swirls all over it drawn in texta, and a heart and a star and “DAD” in big letters of red & black.

When I was younger I had a dream that dad was a piece of ham on the bench, and his eyes were spinning swirly things, like a psychiatrist would use to hypnotise you, and I was terrified that someone was going to come along and cut him up. And I was so upset because he was a piece of ham, and how can you stop someone from being a piece of ham once they are one? So anyway, it terrified me and I woke up crying. It was a really bad dream, and left me with a bad feeling and haunted me for weeks afterwards. I still feel slightly uneasy whenever I recall the memory.

We were going to go home for Easter, but now I don’t think I will. It might depress me. Seeing the house as it is in all it’s … what’s an antonym for glory that could be applied in that sentence? Well by saying that, you should know what I mean. It’s just… when I go back there it feels like everything’s shrinking around me. I dont know how to explain what I feel about it. I love the beach, I love the backyard and the sky and the leaves and the birds and the place in itself, I just don’t like seeing the house the way it is right now. It’s sad.

Anyway. I want to buy a keyboard for my laptop that has a numerical keypad, because I’m so much faster at typing numbers in on a numerical keyboard than by going to the ones in the row above qwertyyuiop. According to some standard that Nathan has set, I am a nerd. Requirements include: wearing glasses, using a computer every day (at least five hours – which isn’t difficult since I use one all day at work), reading books often, hating TV but watching TV shows on DVD, blogging, being too cheap to buy a wireless router. Blogging = nerd apparently. When I said that lots of people blog, he said a lot more people are becoming nerds.

Franz Ferdinand’s latest CD is awesome. As is The Strokes, but I’ve listened to it too much now and so I have to leave it for a while so I don’t start hating it, like you do if you constantly hear a song on the radio. Even if you like it after a while it starts to irritate you and it gets boring. But I hate most of the songs they play on the radio anyway. Pop music is irritating, and not because it’s popular, just because it’s shit. If someone wanted to torture me all they’d have to do is tie me to a chair and force me to listen to Jack Johnson, James Blunt, Pete Murray, josh kelley (why are they all the SAME????), or something like pussycat dolls or chingy or … just shit music. All that crappy RnB & HipHop and Rap they have in the charts at the moment that is not original or interesting at all. BORING.

Lauren has asked me what I want for my birthday. I’m still thinking about it, because at the moment I really don’t have any idea what I’d like. Apart from some cons, maybe chuck taylors.

God there’s a horrific garbage smell coming in through my window…

Okay, I guess I’ll go be bored again.

A bike is good, because it’s like walking, only on fast-forward, and also more fun when you go down hills and such (except that I wouldn’t go down the hill on Montpelier, as that would be about as stoopid as stepping in front of a car… Ooops!). So on a bike you can fast-forward through the boring and time-consuming bits (like the boring walk to the store, or the boring walk practically anywhere in this boring suburban suburb) and then slow down back to real-time by getting off and walking when you get to an interesting part (like the botanical gardens, or roma street parklands… why am i so obsessed with green growing things? I think it’s because I’m missing home.)

I want to go home, and see the ocean, and the lake, and the trees and the wildflowers and the swamp and the spiders and the snakes and the frogs and the emus and the foxes and everything. Dad has suggested we visit for Easter long weekend, which would make a change from him always coming up to visit us. He said “it doesn’t matter when you come down, I’m always here you know.” Yes, I know. It’s just harder for us, because we can’t drive and don’t own cars, and don’t have a job where we can pick and choose our hours so much. So if Ro & I go down there, we’ll be catching the bus. If I get a bike before then, I want to take it along. I’d like to ride out to the beach – back beach, greenpoint, dump beach, shelly.. actually, you can’t really ride to shelly, you have to walk.

I want to do something interesting.

I wonder what is going to happen tomorrow? I think that Kirra is more worried about things than I am. I really couldn’t care less at this stage – there are so many things that I’ve been thinking about and worrying about and caring about getting upset about and losing sleep about… I don’t think I have the energy for it anymore, and not for something that, in the end, makes no real difference to my life.

Everyone should just get over it. You included.

I just uploaded some photos and I noticed that my profile said I am 23. I had to think about it for a minute to really be sure that I am not 23. I think I’m overtired. We just got back from Yamba. The drive back was so long. I just wanted to be home, and I thought “The first thing I’ll do when I get home is have a shower (because my hair is all beachy from this morning) + then go to bed”. But I’m home, and I haven’t had a shower, and  I haven’t gone to bed (obviously). I really wanted to check out the photos from the weekend, so I had to unpack my laptop and set it back up again on my desk (because I took it with me so I could delete photos from my memory card over the course of the weekend, and it’s lucky I did because I only took my 32MB memory card instead of the 512MB one. IDIOT!) and then I had to upload some to my blog just because I wanted to, and so I had to resize all the photos so they weren’t like a million megabytes.

So. I will have a shower to clean the salt water from my hair (though we did go swimming in the Blue Pools AFTER the beach, which are fresh water, and I did have a shower after swimming at spooky, but it was only the shower above the beach where you get to wash off the salt & the sand) so I”m not all that salty, but I’m not going to sleep like this.

Last night was funny. We sat on the headland and had a picnic and drank and watched the fireworks (random fireworks were going off from about 9pm for no apparent reason) and there were hordes of 15 and 16 year olds walking past our table, all swigging breezers or cruisers, and they never failed to say to us “Happy New Years!” To which Anna would respond “yeah… it’s not new years yet!” or they would say “Happy 2006!” and Anna would say “Happy 2005″ back to them. There was no violence around this year, which is something to be thankful for. Nathan dropped us home just after the fireworks ended, and he had to make two trips as there were too many people. When we got home everyone was hyper, Nathan had leftover silly string and a water gun, and was blasting everyone until A poured a jug of water over him. Then he took the cap off the water gun and just poured the rest of it over Anna, who came out far more soaked than Nathan. I tried to get away from the water gun and bashed my knee against the table in the process. It’s still hurting. Then Zsolti served us all some Tokaji, and taught us the Hungarian toast which sounded something like “eggesheggedrrrre!” But I was a bit drunk at the time so I’m probably remembering it wrong. Despite the fact that I had been drinking vodka all night, and then had tokaji, I woke up feeling amazingly good. We went to the beach at around 9:30am, and the water was so cold that it was hard to breathe, and it wasn’t like I got used to it after a while, I had to move constantly so that I didn’t freeze, and my teeth were chattering and I was shivering. But it was beautiful, the water was so clear, and warming up in sun afterwards was just perfect. In contrast to that, the water in the Blue Pools was really tepid. It was cooler at our feet, further underneath the water where the sun doesn’t reach, still we didn’t stay in there long, because we had to leave anyway.

We leave a week from today. This time next week we will have been on the plane for 7 hours. Or about that. we’re supposed to stay awake for the first part of the trip, and then go to sleep for the last part so that we wake up when the plane touches down in Heathrow at 6:30 in the morning of the same day that we left. I think. I’ll have to have another look at the itinerary. We still need to get thermals. I’ll be going to get those this week, plus a travel pillow because Anna said that we will really regret it if we don’t get one now, because of those days that we are on the tour, if we dont have pillows we’ll be sleeping on each other’s shoulders. So I have to get thermals, a pillow, thick socks, waterproof gloves… probably some other stuff I will realise once I’m in the store looking at everything. Once we get over there I have to get some thick woollen tights so that I can wear skirts! Oh and plus I have to get the other pair of jeans I was thinking about last week. Plus some knee-high socks. I should write all this down so I remember.

Four more days of work to go. I don’t know how I’ll concentrate. It was that close to an impossibility to concentrate last week, though that might have been more to do with it being that stupid three day short week between Christmas and New Years celebrations, and it’s always difficult to be seriously motivated during that time.

Anyways, I’m tired and I want to have a shower and go to bed. Night!!!!

That’s some huge leap to make from holiday me to work me. I haven’t had more than two consecutive days off in quite some time… after about three I don’t know what to do with myself. And with all the merry-making, and the festivities, and the avoiding painful feelings… I can’t even say what I mean. My fingers are killing me from putting together the pump. Those metal clamps were really tough. And the screwdriver kept slipping out and hitting the tips of my fingers, including where the fan cut me the other day. Ouch. Maybe I just wasn’t made for assembling things. I like the idea of it, and I will always stick with it until it’s finished, but I don’t think that the reason that I always end up doing these types of things is because I’m necessarily the best at it, I think it has more to do with the fact that everyone knows that if they leave me to it, it will get done.

I want to leave right now. I want to be at the airport, boarding the plane, luggage checked in and departure card filled out and submitted… Agh! (that was the scream that I promised now that I’m down to the final 10.) I don’t know how I’ll cope with the monotony of everyday life for the next ten days. Anna said that the last ten days are the longest and that they feel like an eternity. Mum said to me today, “Now, while you’re over there, don’t even think about missing home. It’s too short a time, you’ve just got to get on with it and see everything and do everything and just have fun.” I don’t know if she thinks that if she doesn’t tell me this, I’ll cry myself to sleep every night we’re away and be pining for home every minute that I’m awake. If I’m thinking anything about home at all, it will be to wonder at what mischief Ro will  be getting up to.

I’d like to say that I understood what I just did and what happens next but the truth is that I don’t. (and no one will know what I mean by this!)

OH something else to think about. NYE. That takes the focus off counting down the days until we leave. And puts the focus onto something that is more worrying. There are many things I’m concerned about.

Least of these is: where are we all going to sleep? I said I’d sleep on the floor, in front of the doors to the balcony. I used to sleep there most nights when we lived in the house, I can’t remember why but I just preferred sleeping on the floor up there to sleeping in my room.

Agh. I hate when the little email reminder thing pops up and says “you have received an email from…” and it’s something boring like Australian Music Charts, or greater union, or ryanair, but never from an actual person. I mean, sometimes it is, but usually not, because why would someone email me when I’m online anyway?

The worst thing about summer is the intolerable heat, but some of the best things are:

1. stepping into airconditioning (*sigh*) this is especially good when you’re at a shopping centre and have just spent half an hour driving around looking for a park, and walking across the tar which just seems to suck in the heat and radiate it back up at you at double the intensity. Then you get to the auto doors and the air almost goes “shhhhh” as you step inside, like a science fiction movie with those airlock doors.
2. going swimming, whether at the beach or in a pool (but never at southbank. Things are never that desperate)
3. the beaaaaach
4. summer fruits: mangoes, cherries, grapes, watermelon, nectarines
5. actually appreciating being at work for the simple fact that it’s cool and you don’t have to deal with the heat and all the tourists in the mall and you can think about things other than how hot it is.
6. all the public holidays that go along with summertime
7. going for long drives with all the windows down
8. the relaxing cool that follows the darkening of the sky
9. thunderstorms (but only if I am inside!)

I wanted it to be 10, but I’m tired and I can’t think of any more. I hate Antony now, his frivolity makes me feel agitated.

You know what song is sad? That song by the white stripes… the one about having someone in your pocket. So sad. I listen to it on the bus, it always plays just as the bus is passing mountain designs, where the old man asks the bus driver, “just a little further up if you don’t mind, I got a gammy knee”.

Today Beck & I went down the coast. It was nice & cool, I’m not sure of the temperature, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as the weather people said it was going to be. That could have been because we were close to the ocean and getting the cool breeze coming off the water. I spent more than I should have, but at least I have everyone’s presents now.

We drove out to Robina too, for reasons I won’t list here. I am never going back there again, it is the creepiest place ever. We drove down “Town Centre Drive”, and looked for Robina Town Centre. Did you know that Robina Town Centre is actually the mall? They have no main street! One of their streets, Bazaar Street, is just another entrance to the shopping centre carpark! And the houses look exactly the same. They must have had some severe covenants put over their properties.

But anyway, it was nice walking around Surfers, checking out all the shops. Beck said that her sister would be going mad with all the half naked boys around, but I’m so not into the whole surfer boy thing. So we just checked out the shops and I got some venetian glass & malachite jewellery. I love green. It’s my favourite of favourites. The tint of my new sunglasses makes the trees and the grass look so lush and verdant. I put them on and just go “ah pretty!”, it’s like seeing what things would look like if it weren’t so hot and dry here most of the time.

Then on the way home we stopped in at Carindale for last minute things. I haven’t been there in aaages. It’s like visiting another life, and the drive home from there brought back so many memories. Also, the train I had to catch to Beck’s house was my old train line, so I had a whole day of memories being stirred up.

Dad just arrived, he and Ro have gone out for some food. I’ve felt so hungry all day, but  I’ve eaten so much! I just had yoghurt, grapes and brazil nuts for tea. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, why I feel so starving today, and with the day being so hot too!  Maybe I have alien parasites living in my stomach that consume all my food as soon as I have eaten it. That makes me feel like throwing up. Eugh.

That was like today, when we were driving, every time we saw a roadkill coming up I would close my eyes or look the other way, and B would say things like “oh look, a bird, or rather half a bird. Yeah, it had no head.” and also “Ah a blue-tongue lizard, you can see it’s guts all over the place. I can tell it’s a blue tongue because I can see it’s tongue on the road”. Though she swears she never said this last part, I am sure she did because why would I make that up? I said to her, “I’m trying so hard not to think about it and you’re listing every disgusting detail!” This was apparently hilarious. I was laughing too, but I really don’t like roadkill.

I think I can hear someone singing Christmas carols really badly. Haha. It’s funny.

I’m being so lazy with my diary entries. Usually when i do write there’s enough there to make up for it. I don’t know why I even bothered to write the other night when I was tired and just wrote these halted sentences. dumb.

Went to Audra’s baby shower today. I don’t know why i dread these outings so much, but i do. But this one i didn’t dread as much as julies. i’m not sure why. Julie was there today. She looks really good, didn’t look much bigger than the last time we saw her a few weeks ago. She’s due in 12 days or something, but she said she’ll probably come to our work christmas breakfast on the 18th. Fran said that we could stay as long as we wanted at the breakfast, because she’ll be there too. it’ll be on at Coffee Club on Eagle St Pier. Should be nice.

Another thing i’m dreading so much is work tomorrow. I’m dreading this whole L. thing. I sent mortgages out to get signed and the customer only had one copy witnessed, so the other copy is useless. now i have to get them to sign another copy and i also realised that i got them to sign the non-urgent mortgages, which is going to get me in the shit. I’ll have to send them out again and just say “both copies of the mortgages need to be witnessed. oh and by the way i got you to sign the non-urgent mortgages. Here are the urgent ones, and i’ve wasted another week and they could have been lodged by now.” it’s worse because the customer is a self-actor and knows how everything works. It’s shit. And i’m not looking forward to this whole RP thing either. i just know i’m going to do up stat decs and stuff because i’m not going to find the CT. And the branch will blame me.

One good thing is that mum agreed to go on the bill for me with my phone. So the account will be in her name and i’ll just get the bill. I don’t know what phone i want to get, i don’t know if what beck said is true about phones taking pics on a certain frequency and in 2 months time that frequency won’t exist any more so picture phones will be useless… it sounds a bit like a conspiracy to me. Don’t know if i can believe that. I hope it’s not true. I want to get a panasonic like bec’s mum. Beck’s phone doesn’t’ take pictures in real time, when you look at the screen there’s like a 2 second delay, which is a pretty long time in camera time.

Movieworld was fun. beck reckoned i’d get burnt but i didn’t. my skin felt a bit hot at the end of the day but i am not burnt, which is good. i did put sunscreen on. i might do a bit of sunbaking this weekend. I feel so white. i think i am fairly pale, but not as much as some people. Plus i tan easily, so it’s a problem easily solved, right? I went on a lot of rides that i didn’t think i’d go on. this is how the day went:

Caught the 7:43 train from morningside to central, pretty uneventful. I arrived at 8:03 and beck’s train would get in at 8:16, and i had arranged to meet her at maccas, so i had some breakfast there. Watched some wiggas come and go, sitting on a bench across from macdonalds. Beck & her little sister Tanya arrived and then we had to wait for Beck’s mum. So we walked around the city for a while. Beck’s mum got there at 9:30. We then caught the train to Helensvale, and the bus from helensvale to movieworld. First thing we went on was the batman ride, according to beck it was tradition. That ride really jerks you around, i totally thought i’d get seatbelt burn. Then we went on Lethal Weapon. Only beck and i went on that, tanya and Kate (becks mum) didn’t want to, so they watched from the observation area.

It was a fun ride, but I felt like my ears had been bashed from my head banging around. Then we had lunch. i had a burger & fries, and beck had fish & chips (which were apparently still frozen inside). Then we looked at the matrix exhibit. Not very exciting. Then we went on the Wild Wild West ride. (if you’re at dreamworld it’s the log ride). That was fun, but i was really scared. I kept saying to beck “i’m so scared” and tanya, who was sitting behind me & beck, was saying “i wanna get off mum, i wanna get off! This is too scary!” lol. that’s how i felt. beck said to me “just be quiet, or you’ll scare tanya even more”. so i turned around to tanya and said “it’s okay, i’m a bit scared too but it’s bad for like one second and then it’s over”. and it was. i needed to convince myself of that too. When we got off, my hands were shaking so badly & my legs felt like jelly. But i got over it. Next thing we went on was the scooby doo spooky coaster. it was so cool, as beck said “it had just enough of everything”. especially the part where you go through this green smoke that looks like a tunnel and then you’re above everything and you’re going around these corners where you feel like you’re going to fall off… it was great. tanya was really scared at first and it took some convincing, but she loved it too and we went on again, this time with kate (she didn’t go on the first time and i had to sit next to this gross old man). Then we headed up to the looney tunes village, and went on the roadrunner rollercoaster. me & tanya went on that one twice, but beck only went once and hated it, and kate didn’t go on it at all.

We were pretty tired by this stage, so we got a frozen coke and sat on a bench in the main street. Austin powers and his dancers danced and sang up the street, and then we headed for the park entrance/exit to go home. but then kate decided she wanted the picture of everyone on the spooky coaster ride, so me & beck went to wait out at the bus stop while tanya & kate went back to check if they still had it. We went from the bus to helensvale station to central station, where i said goodbye to beck, tanya and kate. they caught the train home but i was too tired to walk home from morningside train station so i caught a bus from elizabeth street. While i was walking from central station to elizabeth st, i called rosie. dad answered and rosie was in the shower, so she called back a bit later and said that day she and sharna had gone to the blue pools and there were these girl aboriginal kids there. they were up on the cliffs and said that they were too scared to jump, and asked rosie to go first, so rosie and sharna went first to show them there was nothing to be scared of. So they all jumped in and started playing, and then some aboriginal boys came along, and dared rosie & the others to see how long they could hold their breath under water for. When rosie & sharna came back up from underwater, the boys were running away with their wallets and their phones. They were too slow in getting out to chase them, so they went up to the local store and mum was there, and they told mum and mum went to see if she could find them. she found them at greenpoint, but couldn’t get the boys to confess what they’d done and that they had the phones and wallets. so a bit later on, mum took rosie & sharna to the mission and they had a meeting with the elders. The elders said that those boys were already on good behaviour bonds, and that if they were charged with anything else they would be sent away, so to leave it with them to get the phones & wallets back. Mum agreed and they went home. about a half hour later, they got a message from the elders that the phones and wallets had been found. mum went to get them. so rosie & sharna got their phones back and their wallets, but their money was gone.

On january 3 & 4, mum said she’d take me & greta down to yamba. finally. So i told greta, and i think she should be fine to come. she got her new phone yesterday. it’s really cute and takes really good pictures. I think i want a panasonic tho. hers is a samsung.
Greta, Dimity & I are going to see the Lion the witch & the wardrobe live next wednesday (10th). Should be fun. i might need to borrow money from dad before then because i am going to be seriously broke, and because i don’t think i’m going to get my credit card, I’ll need money from somewhere. Fuck credit ratings & the default on mine from when no one paid the phone bill. ruin my freaking life why don’t you. it’s my fault though, but it shouldn’t have happened. no one paid the bill and all claimed they didn’t owe anything. well i can’t have made the bill for $200 on my own!!!

Anyways… Lauren and chris won’t be home til later tonight. wonder if they’re havng fun on the loveboat. can’t call them because i have no credit and our phone still won’t call anything except local. sucks.

no one seems to care about the middle. It’s always the beginning, and the end… like we could really just forget the whole middle part of our lives. The most meaningful things happen in the middle, the middle is when things are at their peak, when life is the most vibrant, exciting, depressing, dangerous…

But anyway, that’s not really what I was going to talk about. Yesterday I went to Shelley beach with Caroline, Lou, Pat and John. I am so burnt now, because it was soooo hot yesterday… I felt like i was suffocating, and i had to hurry through the bush to get to the beach. But then, when i finally got to the beach, it was so relief at all… it was stiflingly hot down there as well.

We sat on the beach for about 3 hours, while Lou slept and Caroline, pat and john talked about old people stuff. Not the interesting old people stuff, like how life was during the war (rations and drawing lines up the back of your legs so it looked like you had silk stockings), they were just talking about times when they’d been ripped off by someone or other, caroline was talking about the builder who ripped her off and someone suing for thousands of dollars after the HIH insurance collapse… I was bored. And today, what do I have to show for it? Weird sunburn, because I was wearing joggers, i have sunburn that goes down my legs but stops abruptly where my socks were. How embarrassing. I’m going to have to wear long pants or socks for the next few weeks… boo.

Anyways, best be off. I’m going into town today with caroline, to get a blood test and a new prescription… my weet-bix is sitting in the microwave turning slowly soggy and gross.

xxoo

Today went for a walk out to Shelley beach with Lou, Caroline, Horst and Gitar. It was fun… I had heaps of cool stuff for lunch, but by the time we got there i didn’t feel like eating anything. But jees my ankles are sore… so are the soles of my feet. Walking on sand is hard on your ankles, and the soles of my feet are sore because I went swimming and was walking all over the rocks… Only caroline and I went swimming, Horst and Gitar reckoned it was too cold. ha ha ha… they’re coming from germany, saying our water is too cold??? Maybe it’s just cold by comparison… like, perhaps they expected the temperature of the water to be similar to that of the air… pleasantly warm, and they were disappointed to learn that it isn’t… The water isn’t that cold, just colder than you might expect. I saw a big turtle, because we were swimming in amongst the rocks. At first I thought it could be a wobbegong (sp?) shark, but only for a moment, because I couldn’t see it properly from the seaweed. Then it quickly swam out through the little inlet and into the ocean. It was beautiful. There were quite a few caves in the cliffs above the beach, smoothed out by waves over centuries. After our swim, caroline and I sat on the shore and looked through the shells that had been washed up by the waves. She said to me “I forgot how much fun you are to be around. Just thought I’d tell you that” because she had commented that she hadn’t seen me much lately. She also said that the things I thought about and commented on were a lot different to other people my age. Apparently I know much more than most people my age too… but I just said that it’s because I’ve been idle too long, and have had too much time to think about things. In any case, what it eventually came down to is that I understood most things pretty well, and I’m very sensitive to things that don’t always have anything at all to do with me. I think that’s a good thing…

Well, I’m pretty tired right now – it’s been a long day, but in a good way. I’m sunburnt too, never thought that was gonna happen… not ^_^ I knew I should have put sunscreen on… ack. I’ll just have to deal i guess. Before I go, here is a final thought from T. S. Eliot… quite sad, wouldn’t you agree?

I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think that they will sing to me.

I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.

Yeah, i do, you want… a sunny boy!. I had this weird conversation with mum last night about sunny boys, cause i had bought some on friday. My favourite is still ozzie orange, but I also like raz raspberry. Mum told me that the cola one is called a glug, and I didn’t believe her, but then I saw them at the supermarket and they are called glugs! what an odd thing to call the cola sunnyboys. Agh memories are wonderful ^_^ it’s strange how your mind seems to gloss over the more unpleasant memories, and you have to try really hard to remember them. It’s like your past is a cave with veins of gold running through it, and the good times are the gold, that stand out more than the dull rock. me and my metaphors.

Rosie woke me up this morning. It was about 9:30am, and I heard her talking to someone as she walked down the stairs. It sounded like she was giving them a tour or something. Then she stood in the doorframe of my room and I opened my eyes. She laughed and I said “who’s here?” and she tried to tell me it was no one. Eventually she admitted that it was her friend, Cassie. they both came in and talked to me for a while before I kicked them out so I could get dressed. That’s about all that’s happened today… I’ve also been playing SNES roms on the computer, and I just downloaded an N64 rom so that I can play my zelda game on the computer too.

Yesterday I went to the beach with Lou, Mike, Luka, Ceda, Horst and Gitar. Luka, Ceda and I ran over to our favourite rock pool, which they nicknamed mermaid cove. They named the rocks ’seal rocks’. Ceda pretended to be a seal, and started making stupid honking noises… it was funny ^_^. After about an hour of swimming, I went back to the car and lay down on the sand to warm up. When I got up, I had the worst stomach ache ever, and no idea why… I couldn’t do anything to stop it hurting, not even the yoga that usually helps. The only thing that took my mind off it was running, which was a little weird. So, I ran from one end of the beach to the next, and then back again. When we finally left the beach, I was feeling better, but Lou, Gitar and I had to back to the dirt road from the beach because Mike didn’t want to risk the 4wd becoming bogged… ho hum. I don’t think i would have made much difference to the overall weight, but that’s men for you. Gitar didn’t believe me that I wouldn’t get sunburnt… As we were walking back, she said “you see, you are sunburnt” and I said I wasn’t, and she said “you cannot see it, but I can with my glasses on”. she had sunglasses on, and I put them on and found that they were tinted with a bugundy colour. ha ha ha. very funny.

Anyways, tomorrow I get paid and I’m going to go back to Crazy’s to see the manager, if he is in, so that I can explain the wage subsidy thing. I’m not really in a writing mood, so you’ll have to forgive me if this entry is filled with meaningless drivel and useless trivia… ^_^ I promise I’ll try harder next time… if i feel like it