I’m happy, looking forward to my holidays, looking forward to another day of having something to do, looking forward to another day of seeing funny things and laughing and thinking about things. I’m facile, sure, but it doesn’t matter at all. Nothing really matters (oooooh I’m channeling Freddie Mercury). I could have said that in a flat, negative way (probably I would have a couple of years ago), but right now it’s something serene.

I know my latest posts have been angsty emo poetry-ish, but it’s not the state that I exist in, and I’m not really sure what they relate to. There are several things that I have been a bit stressed about lately (mainly family matters), so perhaps that’s it. Anyway, disquiet and negativity exist in normal life. Suffering is the human condition, is it not? I’m getting past it, and learning to become less highly strung.

I really should post some more photos, non?

I saw you and
I know how it feels
I know what it means
What could I do except wait?
I know how long it feels
When the sounds are
Falling all around you
I know how it must have seemed
And I would have been by your side
If giving my entire world would have
Been enough.

But with all the knowledge from our
Past mistakes
That we never carry into
The future
We hide behind pragmatism
Tying ourselves in knots over
Something still
Unacknowledged.

Disaster stood at a locked door
Looked at me through a window, tightly shut
Some restless, beating part of me
Reached out to let it in

The wary heart beside me
Said “Careful,
“Be careful, please”
If you break me, you
Don’t get a second chance

But that restless, beating part of me
Will not be
Still

Noelle and I went to see Trina last Wednesday at Flight Centre Stones Corner (PLUG! – Trina is THE bestest travel agent in the entire UNIVERSE!) and we got a tentative itinerary, and here it is:!!!!

1st Nov 08 – Brisbane -> Singapore
2nd Nov 08 – Singapore -> Barcelona
3rd Nov 08 – Barcelona
4th Nov 08 – Barcelona
5th Nov 08 – Barcelona
6th Nov 08 – Barcelona
7th Nov 08 – Barcelona -> London
8th Nov 08 – London
9th Nov 08 – London
10th Nov 08 – London
11th Nov 08 – London
12th Nov 08 – London -> Amsterdam
13th Nov 08 – Amsterdam
14th Nov 08 – Amsterdam
15th Nov 08 – Amsterdam (also Noelle’s birthday!)
16th Nov 08 – Amsterdam
17th Nov 08 – Amsterdam -> Munich
18th Nov 08 – Munich
19th Nov 08 – Munich
20th Nov 08 – Munich
21st Nov 08 – Munich -> Zurich
22nd Nov 08 – Zurich -> Singapore
23rd Nov 08 – Singapore – Brisbane

So that’s the deal so far. A couple of changes from the original vague plan we’d made to go to Denmark and Ireland. Trina said that Denmark is one of the most expensive countries in Europe, but I was still set on going to a country that I’d never been to before, so Barcelona was suggested. The more I think about it, the better an idea it seems, as I keep hearing that there’s no place in the world like Barcelona. I love Germany also, so going back there is going to be awesome. We didn’t get much time in Munich last time we were there (we spent quite a bit of time at Dachau concentration camp while we were in Munich). I’m especially looking forward to visiting the Hofbrauhaus again. This is what happened last time:

I wish I had a better picture of me with the stein of beer. You can hardly tell that it’s me. So I guess I can grant my own wish in a few months time, because we will be going there!

Lauren and Nathan got back from their five-week overseas honeymoon last night. We were at the airport to meet them. They said that they got stopped in customs and almost got arrested because of the present that they got for Tim. I still don’t know what it is, but they’re coming over tomorrow so I guess we’ll find out then. We also might be going out for Yum Cha beforehand.

I’m so psyched about this overseas trip. I have so many things to look forward to. If I look forward to the end of the year, and going to Europe, then I have to think, “but wait a minute, I’m going overseas in May!” and then I have to think about that for a while, and look forward to that as well.

YAY!

I am going to a lot of different places this year. I think it’s the year of travel for me. For the Chinese, it’s the year of the rat. I was in the Valley on Friday night (last night) and watched the dragon dancing around the tables at one of the Chinese restaurants, and listened to the banging of the gong. I also became mesmerised by the fish in the fish pond fountain in the Chinatown mall. I’m not sure if it’s usually there, but last night there was mist coming out from the top part of the fountain where the uplights are. Also, the water in the bottom part of the fountain, where the fish swim around, looked a bit more cloudy than usual, and there were more coins in there too. I felt sorry for the fish.

Anyway, here is the first of my travels:

Not actually the whole of Western Australia, just Perth. The trip over involves a red-eye flight several hours long. I feel like this should mean that people on the Western Coast would be different that the people of the East Coast of Australia, but I guess that we all started out from similar beginnings, and our beginnings weren’t that long ago.

Tim and I are traveling to San Francisco in May this year. It’s exciting because I’ve never been to America before, and this will be my first experience of traveling with Tim. I think we’ll be fine. Tim got the tickets using his frequent flyer miles, which is awesome, because he could have used his miles to get ONE business class return to San Francisco, but instead he got TWO economy return to San Francisco. We’re also going to Canada:

One leg of the trip will be by train, and one will be by plane. Apparently the train trip from San Francisco up to Vancouver is beautiful. I’m looking forward to it. I think we will get a sleeper cabin. Tim was also saying we could spend a couple of days in Seattle, which’ll be good, too. I checked online at the average temperatures for that time of year. The maximum is 17.5 degrees Celsius, which suits me so perfectly you can’t even imagine. I wouldn’t mind it being even cooler than that. Check out the picture of Canada – there are polar bears on there! I swear that means they exist there in real life. I love them. And the elk (if that’s what they are). Yay! It’s going to be amazing.

And finally, toward the end of the year, Noelle and I are traveling to Europe and the UK. I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am about revisiting Europe, especially when you consider all the people over there I will get to meet up with: Anna, Ben, Simone&Dave, Ruth… I am so psyched! We’re planning on spending time in London (& surrounds), Amsterdam (yay Anna!), Paris (I forgot to remind Noelle about this one :S), Denmark (yay legoland! and the little mermaid!), somewhere in Ireland (maybe Galway?)… and wherever else we have time to go. I’d love to visit Prague, but time constraints may make that difficult. Also the financial aspect… 

That’s it on the travel front. In other news, I have started my new job (the end of this week marked two weeks there). I’m exhausted, but appreciate the plus side. I guess you could say the end justifies the means. I got a new pair of boots today at DFO without worrying that they would break the bank. The fact that they were only $20 should illustrate my point. It felt so good to have my own money. I won’t be able to be this laissez-faire about my pay every week, but for this week it’s pretty nice. I’m going to start my hardcore savings as of next Thursday. Tim has been extremely helpful with this, and I’m glad that my working has been able to take some stress off him as well. I’m infinitely grateful to him for looking after me this entire time. Although it may seem strange, I feel like there is a good side to this entire experience, and that is to be able to know, without doubt or hesitation, that Tim’s love comes without condition. This is an amazing gift. Tim and Matt are currently playing Guitar Hero III, and bemoaning the insensitivity of the red button on our guitar. We had a nice dinner, a yummy dessert, and there is a Po here for entertainment. Life is pretty good.

I thought I should qualify my previous angst-ridden blog post with this one, which should be less so. Perhaps it could even be contradictory, who knows? Future me will know. Hi future me! How’s it going? Why haven’t you turned Las Vegas off yet? That show suxors!

The Killers come from Las Vegas. I always thought their music had a cowboyish quality to it. Not like those old Western movies, but more like Deadwood. The gritty, real, gold-panning, gun-slinging, blood-letting west.

Then I think perhaps that’s more Kings of Leon. Those boys suddenly became all good-lookin’. When did that happen? I saw one of their film clips the other day. They really have metamorphosed into hot rock n’ roll dudes. The lead singer’s soulful, mournful, raspy voice seems somehow out of place coming from that mouth with the head with the deliberately tousled hair.

Speaking of metamorphosing, I’m still haunted by that book. The metamorphosis, that is. Not the animorphs, or the mighty morphin’ power rangers. *cough* rip off! *cough*. Though it’s hardly reasonable for me to have nostalgia for a tv show that I barely remember, I still feel the urge to defend Voltron from all the half-assed successors that kids have been fed over the last fifteen years.

I’m getting tired. I mean, I already was tired to begin with. Now I’m exhausted. Anyone have anything to add? No? Ok, cool.    

I haven’t written a blog post on here for a while, and it occurred to me that I really should stop berating myself for it. 

I’ve been feeling weird lately, out of sorts I guess. I’m not sure what it is that’s causing this strange mood, it could be a lot of things. I think the base feeling is one of melancholy, and perhaps a quiet boredom. Sometimes I miss the things I used to do, and I wish I had the energy for it but I’m flat out just trying to get through each day of work.

I miss new experiences, new music, new people.

This train of thought is making me feel like listening to my “songs to cry to” playlist, but I also think that it’s not good for me to wallow.

It’s good to cry every now and then. For me, anyway. It’s like a release. Tim and Thomas were saying that crying is a woman’s secret weapon, and it’s always unfair, no matter when they use it. I don’t think it’s a conscious decision most of the time, I think it’s more of a defense mechanism. But apparently, men can’t cope with women crying. Why? It’s not the end of the world.

Maybe because it’s emo? Stupid emos.

I want to go overseas. I want to live in another country. I want to earn my wage in a different currency. I want to be cold most of the year instead of hot (not emotionally, GOSH!). I want to play in snow again. I want to know WHEN this will happen, not just have it be at some unknown point in the future. I want to go on weekend trips to different countries, and hear different languages being spoken around me. I want to try new things, step out of my comfort zone, get lost, have fun.

Oh my god I love doing those things!  Here are some skills that I own:

• cooking
• sewing
• cleaning
• talking
• random statements
• writing (usually)
• having a decent vocabulary
• knowing the difference between there, they’re & their; then & than; you, your & you’re
• laughing
• liking things
• liking people

I know there are other things. Life’s decent, isn’t it?