Die dulci freure — Have a nice day
I’m sorry. I can tend to be a drama queen quite often. I’m terrible at hiding my feelings, mostly because I don’t try.
Lauren, Nathan, Noelle & I went to see Hot Fuzz tonight. It was funny. I’m in a strange mood. See if you can guess what it is! I’ve been exasperated, impatient, obscene… Every single one of my muscles is spontaneously twitching. I just want to go DO something! I’ve wrapped myself up in a cocoon, and finally emerged to a stultifying, tedious existence. I want to FEEL something, mostly something good. I want to feel appreciated, admired, important, wanted…
I want to go out and test myself. I want to challenge myself and other people. I want to learn something new, meet someone who opens my mind to new possibilities, someone who really sees me.
Does that person even exist? I’m willing to give anything a try right now. This mood feels effortless. It feels like lifting your face to the warmest rays of sun on a cold morning, or like one of those amazing flying dreams, where you’re soaring far above everything and it’s the best feeling you’ve ever experienced. I am me. I am not going to compromise this any more. Whatever happens from here on in, it’s because I chose for it to happen. Because I want it to happen.
Some things:
About Overseas…
I don’t care if I have to fly in a hot air balloon, because once you’re over there it doesn’t matter! You’re just like “ye olde englande towne!” and standing in front of that fountain near that big screen wherever that is, and going to oxford circus and piccadilly circus and they’re not actually circuses, just places. And going on the Tube, which is a really good transport system because it’s fast and the trains come like every 2 mins, and if a train is delayed they actually tell you, AND they tell you why. And you can go to Carnaby Street and see all the people going to Carnaby Street to be at Carnaby Street, then when you walk past some random driveway maybe a soldier in a red uniform will march out on a horse and a police officer will tell you and the rest of the people walking to “move aside please, move aside!” and then you might get to go to grenwich and when you walk up to the mean time thing on top of the hill maybe some asian guy will be standing with crumbs on him and squirrels all around and on him and you can take funny photos!
Austria….
When we were in Austria, in Innsbruck, we went to a little coffee & cake shop and ordered strudel and sacher torte. Our friend pronounced it “sasha” and the waitress and some random guy sitting next to us laughed at us. Then we started saying all the german we knew, and Lauren said “arschloch”. They were shocked that we knew a swear word! The coffee shop was nice and warm, and we stayed there for a couple of hours drinking hot chocolate. When we left, it was dark, and we could see the lights from chalets on the mountains twinkling above the town. It was beautiful. The mountains rose like a painted backdrop, straight up into the sky above the rooftops.
We went to find a net café, and tried to follow the directions that the lady at the tourist information centre had given us. We ended up not finding the net café, but finding instead an ice skating rink surrounded on all sides by quaint little shops, and lit with old lampposts that cast a warm yellow glow over everything. We watched the people skating for a while, and then headed back.
Other places…
I’d love to be in England, in Greenwich park, sitting on a blanket on the grass in the sunshine and watching the squirrels running around through the dappled light from the autumnal trees scattered over the grounds.
Or…
I’d love to be wandering around the streets of Rome, with smartcars zooming past blaring their horns, nearly crashing into anything and everything. The smell of grass and dirt is in the air because it’s just rained, but the sun has come out and I’m watching it envelop the ancient, crumbling statues and buildings in a dreamy, afternoon haze of pale orange and fuchsia.
Or…
I’d love to be in Paris, in the Jardins Tulieres, sitting on one of the green wrought-iron chairs randomly placed around the fountains, watching people stroll past enjoying a warm afternoon in the park, and listening to the language of Romance being spoken all around me.