I’m constantly thinking. I’m very introspective. I think I think too much. The cogs in my brain are constantly turning, and I come up with some strange ideas and theories on why things are the way they are.
I’m constantly trying to make sense out of everything that happens. I want to know everything about everything. I think this is not just a generation-y thing, and I think I should stop explaining it away as that.
I think this won’t be the last time I write something pointless.
I’m overwhelmed by the sensation of missing someone or something. The Shins new song “Phantom Limb” is such a perfect metaphor for this feeling. It happens to thousands/millions of people every single day, so why do I feel so alone? Why do I hate so much when people try to compare my heartache to what they were feeling at a time that they think was similar? That’s not even what they’re trying to do. I know that. They’re trying to make me feel less alone in my pain, but it doesn’t help at all. It makes me rail against their attempts at comforting me.
I don’t want to feel like this any more.
I don’t want to feel discarded, unwanted, like my best efforts are simply not good enough.
It’s very difficult to retain any self-esteem in a situation like this. I’m just not good enough, and I have nothing more to offer.