I called tech support tonight. I said, “my internet is slow. I just upgraded to a faster plan and it’s going really slow. It’s only 254.4kbps.” He said “That sounds fine to me.”
Me: Are you kidding?
Him: No… (he sounds annoyed that I asked him if he was kidding.)
Me: Because my internet was going faster before I changed the plan. It should be going at like… at least 1mbps. At least.
Him: Well, it can depend on how many people are using the line, how you connect…
Me: It’s only me using it. I connect directly to the modem via network cable.
Him: Restart your modem and your computer (I was waiting for him to say this).
Me: Ok.
I turn around and mum is standing in my doorway and she’s talking to me. She says,
“You’re still wearing that top. You said I could wear it, but I can’t now because you’ve been wearing it all day.”
Me: (I cover the phone mouthpiece with my hand) What top? That wasn’t the top I was talking about.
Mum: Yeah, you said this morning.
Me: Yeah, it’s a different top.
Mum: Where is it?
Tech support guy butts in and says “Has your computer restarted yet?” I say, “Uh… yeah, I’m just logging in.”
I hold my hand up to mum to indicate 5 minutes, she sighs and walks off.
Tech guy: Does your internet automatically log in?
Me: Yeah. It’s logged in now.
Him: Ok. Check your bandwidth again. Oh wait… I can’t find your modem. Are you sure it’s connected?
Me: Yeeeeeesssss… Do you want me to do a ping?
Him: No…
Me: I’ll just open IE. It’s loading. I have to be connected.
Him: Oh yeah… there you are.
Me: Ok. now it’s 1.3mbps. That’s good.
Him: That’s good.
Me: Yeah.
Him: If this happens again, try restarting your modem and your computer. And (I could predict what he was going to say next) delete your cookies and internet files.
Me: Deleting cookies.
Him: And if that doesn’t help, give us a call.
Me: Ok. Thanks. Bye.
That’s how eager to procrastinate I am. I relayed an entire conversation with a tech support guy just so I don’t have to sort out my bills. And that took enough time for Medium to start, and I feel like watching it tonight so I will. That will please mum no end I’m sure.
It’s good to have a fever when it’s cold, because if you just wear summer pjs then you don’t feel hot at all. I felt better today when I got out of work and into the cold air. When I was sitting at my computer I felt like I was suffocating.
I’ma go watch Medium.