You trained me not to love after you taught me what it was

How bored am I right now?

Seriously.

I know that you can’t answer that question because I’m the only one sitting here, knowing how bored I am and feeling the boredom. I can tell you how bored I am but I’m kind of occupying myself at the moment so I’m not as bored now as I was a minute ago before I started this entry.

So, how boring is this entry?

Well, that’s difficult to answer too, since it’s only just starting out. At least I think it’s only just starting out, though if I ended it right here it would sort of not be just starting out, it would have pretty much been almost to the end right then. But now that I’ve written some more it’s more like halfway. So I’m confusing myself. And maybe people who can be bothered reading this. Who are you, by the way? Just thought I’d include you in this entry because people like being included in things.

A note from Chris in an old book:

“Fishermen kill fish everyday! Fuck off Fishermen!!”

“Good words:
* Cutlets
* funk
* advocado
* flippant
* heinous
* ruche”

“Panda bears everywhere like bananas”

“Your stupid u hair! FUCK”

Lauren found the book under the house I think, and just brought it in to show me because it was so random and weird. I got a message from Chris the other day saying “is your email address still (blahblahblah)?” I messaged back that it was, and he messaged that he was going to send an invitation. But I still haven’t got one. I’d like to invite him to birthday drinks.

From a fathers day card Ro & I made for dad (also found under the house by Lauren):

Dear dad,
I hope you have a great father’s day. Hey, they don’t call ‘em chats for nothin’, ya little potato.
Love Cassie

Dear Fatty
I want you to have a wonderfull Daddy’s Day this year unlike all your brothers.
Love Roseanna Brisbane

I also really like the pictures in the card, one of dad’s hands reaching out for a block of cadbury’s chocolate, one of a cityscape, and one of dad with this caption “Dad with his favourite haircut (bowl)”. Except that he’s been drawn with breasts. He looks like a woman. When you put all of that together, it’s really not a very nice Father’s day card. I guess we were hyper that day and just went crazy… we did that a lot. The front of the card has blue swirls all over it drawn in texta, and a heart and a star and “DAD” in big letters of red & black.

When I was younger I had a dream that dad was a piece of ham on the bench, and his eyes were spinning swirly things, like a psychiatrist would use to hypnotise you, and I was terrified that someone was going to come along and cut him up. And I was so upset because he was a piece of ham, and how can you stop someone from being a piece of ham once they are one? So anyway, it terrified me and I woke up crying. It was a really bad dream, and left me with a bad feeling and haunted me for weeks afterwards. I still feel slightly uneasy whenever I recall the memory.

We were going to go home for Easter, but now I don’t think I will. It might depress me. Seeing the house as it is in all it’s … what’s an antonym for glory that could be applied in that sentence? Well by saying that, you should know what I mean. It’s just… when I go back there it feels like everything’s shrinking around me. I dont know how to explain what I feel about it. I love the beach, I love the backyard and the sky and the leaves and the birds and the place in itself, I just don’t like seeing the house the way it is right now. It’s sad.

Anyway. I want to buy a keyboard for my laptop that has a numerical keypad, because I’m so much faster at typing numbers in on a numerical keyboard than by going to the ones in the row above qwertyyuiop. According to some standard that Nathan has set, I am a nerd. Requirements include: wearing glasses, using a computer every day (at least five hours – which isn’t difficult since I use one all day at work), reading books often, hating TV but watching TV shows on DVD, blogging, being too cheap to buy a wireless router. Blogging = nerd apparently. When I said that lots of people blog, he said a lot more people are becoming nerds.

Franz Ferdinand’s latest CD is awesome. As is The Strokes, but I’ve listened to it too much now and so I have to leave it for a while so I don’t start hating it, like you do if you constantly hear a song on the radio. Even if you like it after a while it starts to irritate you and it gets boring. But I hate most of the songs they play on the radio anyway. Pop music is irritating, and not because it’s popular, just because it’s shit. If someone wanted to torture me all they’d have to do is tie me to a chair and force me to listen to Jack Johnson, James Blunt, Pete Murray, josh kelley (why are they all the SAME????), or something like pussycat dolls or chingy or … just shit music. All that crappy RnB & HipHop and Rap they have in the charts at the moment that is not original or interesting at all. BORING.

Lauren has asked me what I want for my birthday. I’m still thinking about it, because at the moment I really don’t have any idea what I’d like. Apart from some cons, maybe chuck taylors.

God there’s a horrific garbage smell coming in through my window…

Okay, I guess I’ll go be bored again.