There was a quote in our French room at high school that said, “How can I know what I think ’til I see what I say?” and what does this mean? And why do I remember it still?
I realised this morning that yesterday morning seemed so hot because I was up later than i usually am, and so was waiting at the bus stop later than i usually am (there was even a school kid there!) so the sun had already had a chance to start baking everything. Today I was up earlier, so at the bus stop earlier (though still not as early as I had intended, because things are generally stupid right now) and so it wasn’t as hot. But then again it’s not a fair comparison, because last night it rained so of course it’s going to be cooler today than it was yesterday. It rained again this morning, but by that time I had already been at work for about an hour and a half. But when I went out at lunch time (I had a lunch hour today! Everything’s all skewiff) it was hot and steamy because the sun had come out again, and sucked up all the water that had been in the footpaths and the grass etc, into the air. I hope that it rains again this afternoon, preferably when I’m walking home, because that would be very appropriate I think.
I just emailed Melinda for a list of contact numbers, and she emailed me back the list, which was from an email that I originally sent out months ago. Derrrr I’m such an idiot!
So I’ve sorted out all my cards now… I think… I’m so flat broke, due to getting a fortnightly pay of only a week’s worth of wages because the last week of my holidays was on LWOP (leave without pay. I don’t understand why the acronym includes the O from without, because it’s not like it’s the start of a word or anything. Is without a composite word? or something else entirely? is racecar a composite word or a palindrome?) And I have to live off my weeks pay for two weeks. These are desperate times, people.
Kirra is away today and I am so lonesome! So lonesome and bored. I listened to my MP3 but it distracted me, because the music is just too good. If I listen to it again I’ll start tapping my pen on the desk and someone will get annoyed no doubt. I’ll bet that Stephen is glad Kirra is away, I know that before I left he was getting annoyed by the noise level coming from our side of the wall. But then apparently I was greatly missed when I was gone – I thought he’d be relieved he didn’t have to listen to us for five weeks. I don’t know why we were put next to each other – anyone could see that this would be an obvious distraction! I can’t form my sentences properly and I’m making no sense, I know. At least I know what I’m talking about, and that’s all that matters isn’t it? Melinda said that we should go down the coast for a weekend for my birthday. That sounds like fuuun.
This is going to sound ridiculous, but it’s cold in here. I am cold, and wishing that I had a jacket or long-sleeved something or other. How quickly i have become used to this horrible weather 
. I want to move to Greenland and live like an eskimo, except for the part where you have to eat fish all the time. And also I heard a story about an eskimo baby that was born while they were out somewhere away from their camp, and so to keep the baby warm enough they killed a polar bear, cut it’s stomach open, and put the baby inside. Sometimes when I hear the word “eskimo”, I think, “they could be saying Esk Emo”. I don’t know too much about the people that live there, but it doesn’t seem like the type of community that would spawn anything even resembling an emo. (The Esk that I am referring to here is the one in Queensland). I don’t think I’ve ever been there. Once we went for a drive up to Wivenhoe Dam, and then through Crows Nest Shire (I think that’s what it’s called) and Wivenhoe was brown and everything was dead. there was this hard grass that felt like jagged rocks, and magpies everywhere. Then, when we got further up into the hills above the dam, gradually the countryside became greener. And then we discovered this little retreat hidden away in the hills. It was so beautiful up there. The air was cool and clear, the grass and trees were lush and green… the owners had built houses that you could rent for a weekend or longer. It hadn’t been there long (things were still being finished) but already they were totally booked out for the holiday season. I had never seen it advertised anywhere (still haven’t).
We had coffee on the balcony in the sun, looking out over valleys with green green grass and trees and lakes. Then we drove back home, and the further down we went, the duller everything became. Brown and grey and boring and sad.
I am overwhelmed. By being back at work and ordinary life and everything. Ordinary life is horrible.